A short rant about hemlines

polka dot dress with red boots

You see this dress, readers?

This dress is from the Topshop Tall collection. Yes, TALL. For women of 5″9 and above.

I am not tall.

In fact, I’m just a smidge under 5″4 (that “smidge” is important, by the way. Not least because it makes me just slightly too tall for the “petite” section, but still too small for the “regulars”. Won’t someone please think of the women who are 5″4!), so when I ordered this, back in the summer, I thought there was absolutely no danger of it being too short. In fact, I was feeling pretty smug, because I felt sure I had stumbled upon The Answer to all of my “too short” dress woes: just shop from the Tall section! Get easy access to dresses which fall just on, or just above the knee, without having to scour the earth from them (or, er, buy them from Bettie Page or Stop Staring, which let’s face it, is what I normally do..)!

This, you see, is an issue which is starting to get on my last nerve. Why must clothing manufacturers assume that every woman in the world wants to either walk around with her ass hanging out, or dress like a nun? Why is there no middle ground? (Other than the aforementioned Bettie Page/SS middle ground, which is an expensive bit of ground, let me tell you.) Why is it that every time I spy a dress I like hanging in a store, I’ll get it into the fitting room, only to discover that if I bought it, I’d have to walk around like a robot, never daring to lean forward or raise my arms even a fraction, lest I show the world my underwear?

This dress is obviously not QUITE that bad. It’s still fairly decent, albeit shorter than I’m really comfortable with, which is why I’ve had it for months, but had to wait until now to actually wear it, because I feel I can only really get away with it with tights. Did I mention how much I HATE wearing tights?

It’s a first world problem, to be sure.

polka dot dress red boots

Oh, and just to add to the confusion: Fi also has this dress. It’s roughly the same length on her as it is on me. And Fi is 5″11.

The lesson? There is no rhyme nor reason to hemlines. Most dresses are too short, regardless of what height you happen to be. (Um, except midi-dresses. Those actually ARE all cut for people who are very, very tall. Don’t even get me STARTED on that one…). And if I tell you I’ve had a bright idea regarding ordering clothes from the Tall section? Just ignore me…