Seven Things

Forever Amber

( Miss Selfridge via eBay dress; Vivienne Westwood for Melissa shoes; mystery  cardigan, eBay sunglasses)

Jenni tagged me to do one of those “Seven Random Things About Me” posts a couple of weeks ago, and I started it, then quickly realised that because I’ve done these a few times now, there’s almost nothing about me that’s been left unshared here. Well, nothing that’s FIT to be shared, at least. I mean, I could bore you rigid with a lot of really mundane stuff (but then, that’s what Twitter’s for, surely?), and then there are all my deep dark secrets, obviously, which I just can’t share, but other than that, I got nothing.

OR SO I THOUGHT.

Once I got started, I realised that there actually is no limit to the rubbish I can talk about myself, so here are seven random facts about moi: I have a horrible feeling I may have already “shared” some of these (or maybe even all of them) at some point, so please just humour me, the way you would an elderly relative who is losing her marbles.

1. I have never had a pedicure or a massage in my life…

… and I probably never will. I just can’t stand the thought of people touching my feet, and I’m so bad at making smalltalk that any other kind of treatment which involves strangers, you know, touching me, is horrifying to me, purely because of the socially awkward way I would handle it. I mean, I’m sure massages are super-relaxing for NORMAL people, but for the shy people amongst us, wine fulfils the same purpose, and is cheaper.

Forever Amber

 

2. But I wear make-up every day, even if I’m not planning on leaving the house. 

If you’d ever seen me without it, you’d understand why.

3. When I was laid off from my job as a reporter, I applied to work as a salesperson in a designer clothing store, purely for the sake of the staff discount. 

I got the job (after one of the toughest interviews I’ve ever had, actually), but turned it down in favour of a job in PR which had twice the salary and made use of my mad writing skillz. It didn’t allow me to get 30% off designer fashion, though, so obviously that sucked.


vivienne-westwood-lady-dragon-heart-shoes-black

4. I have developed a mild phobia about escalators

I’m secretly convinced that the moving stair is somehow going to suck me in and EAT ME. So while other people are able to step onto it without even breaking stride, I hop around at the top for ages, waiting for exactly the right minute to step on without being sucked in. And when that moment arrives, I kind of grab the handrail, close my eyes and jump, often whilst emitting a girlie little “ooh!” sound. It must be REALLY annoying for anyone waiting to get on behind me…

5. And I’m terrified of lifts

I think most people are, though, to at least some extent, aren’t they? And if they’re not, they should be. Because lifts are scary.

6. I have had cosmetic surgery…

… to remove two (non-malignant) moles from my face, which I’d hated my entire life. It cost a small fortune, and they both grew back after a couple of years, and had to be removed AGAIN, but it was still one of the best things I ever did, and I wish I could go back in time and have it done much sooner. They’ve both now been cut out at the root, and I’m told the chances of them returning a second time  are slim, so naturally I’m expecting them to reappear any day now.

7.  I am completely incapable of taking pain killers

I put them in my mouth, take a sip of water… and then I PANIC, freeze and sit there for five minutes with the pills still in my mouth and my eyes popping out of my head, terrified that if I swallow, I will surely choke to death. (I almost did choke to death once, incidentally, although not on painkillers, so every mealtime is an adventure for me now.) When I do finally muster the nerve to swallow them, one pill ALWAYS seems to get stuck halfway down my throat, and while that’s obviously not going to kill me, it does tell me that I was right to worry about it.

Forever Amber

And there you have it: seven things that you didn’t really want to know, but which I told you anyway! If you read all the way to the end, you can consider yourself “tagged”…

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24 Comments

  • Chloe says:

    I take 9 tablets a day and I worry about choking every time!

    • Amber says:

      That must be awful… Terry has to take loads every day, and he’s tried to teach me how to do it, but I just can’t: not even silly little painkillers!

  • Alex says:

    I have also developed a fear of escalators. My Mum developed it first ans I seem to gave picked up from her. I now have to stand and watch it for a while before I can step on.

    • Amber says:

      Yup, that sounds like me: I particularly hate it when the store or whatever is really busy and there are loads of Others all lining up behind you, desperate to get on – I always feel like I’m going to end up pitching forward and rolling to the bottom in my efforts to get on quickly, and not hold people up!

  • Rachel says:

    I have a slight phobia about escalators too after my mum told me about a book she had read, in which a man got sucked in and eaten by one. I know do a little jump to get on and off them.

  • Sandy says:

    I used to have the escalator phobia as a kid, so much so that once I failed to get on with my mum, this caused her to panic so she tried running up the down escalator to get me. Not sure why she didn’t go to the bottom and back up the up one, I think she thought I would hop on the down one as she was going up?

    I’ve been stuck in a lift before and had to be rescued out the top of it….but lifts don’t bother me which is odd.

    I do the pill hold thing too, unless it’s teeny and then I wonder if I’ve swallowed it or if it’s stuck behind a tooth somewhere.

  • Moni says:

    I can totally relate to the taking pills issue.
    I start to gag very easily and have to make sure that there is a LOT of water/juice in my mouth already when I put the pill in. And then I have to drink a LOT more to get it down. It’s even worse when it’s a round pill instead of a long one.

  • Hazel says:

    Good to know I’m not the only one who gets socially awkward with beauty treatments. I’ve had one massage in my life and in the end the woman gave up as I was too tense because I couldn’t relax. Never again.
    Also I hate escalators. My friends think it’s hilarious that I always have a huge pause. I do not.

  • I’ve had one massage in my life, it was a lovely experience at the time… then, 5 hours later, I felt like someone I’d aged 60 years couldn’t move my neck or shoulders all night. So, never again ha!

    Talking about beauty treatments…. have you ever tried semi-permanent eyelashes? Random question, but I’m tempted in trying them and perhaps having them for my wedding day for that ‘big eye look’

    • Amber says:

      I haven’t, but I’d like to… I’ve only ever tried the DIY ones, which last for a few days: they can look nice, but they do have a tendency to drop out when you least expect them to (or at least, they do on me!), which wouldn’t be great for your wedding! My beautician friend is thinking of doing a course in applying them, though, and if she does I’ll definitely give them a go!

      • Haha yes random eye lashes hanging off your face is not a good look, apart from that though I’ve heard good things about them so I’ve booked myself in 2 days before so hopefully won’t lose any before the big day!

        • Amber says:

          I’m sure the permanent ones will be absolutely fine – if I was getting married, I would definitely get them, too! (I’m actually quite jealous that I’m NOT getting married – it’s such an exciting time. Hope you have a wonderful day :) )

  • Drea says:

    I have the escalator thing too, I used to love them when I was little but now I do the little hop. Strangely enough, ones in Paris seem worse, maybe they go faster or of steeper or something.
    I also have the pill thing too. I can not swallow a pill no matter how tiny. I have to suck the sugar coating off first for some reason and I will always try to find a liquid alternative (yay for calpol).

  • Tracey says:

    No pedicures ever? I have one every three weeks. I can’t be arsed painting my own toenails.

  • Stacey says:

    I have had one massage in my life, and it was awkward and uncomfortable. I’m not comfortable about strangers touching me anyway, so wasn’t looking forward to the massage, but it was a gift and I couldn’t turn it down. The masseur (? I’m not sure of the proper terminology)was an attractive male. He asked me to strip everything off and lay on the table (un – comfortable). He could tell I was uncomfortable/nervous and said that I was wasting my time if I couldn’t relax. So I tried, I really did. I just couldn’t.

    The worst part was when he asked me to flip over from my back onto my stomach. I’m uncoordinated at the best of times, so when I get nervous it’s 1000 times worse. I managed to get tangled up in the sheet and roll halfway off the table – still naked.

    • Amber says:

      This is EXACTLY why I have never had one – I just know beyond doubt that I’d have the same kind of experience: it seems like the absolute opposite of relaxing to me!

  • Claire says:

    Your fear is rational! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2115594/Woman-strangled-death-clothes-entangled-escalator.html

    And I seem to remember something about a man losing his foot too.

    Great post – weird that I’ve been reading your sites so long I feel I know you better than people I know in the real world! (in a not creepy way)

    Claire

  • Roisin says:

    I’m with you on the pedicure and massage thing. I dread having my hair cut for much the same reason (and I have a particular hatred for people touching my very sensitive scalp!)

    I’m okay on escalators and lifts, but I don’t like moving walkways at all!

  • Call me M says:

    I’m also terrified of lifts, I usually take the stairs, unless, the lift is new and I have someone with me. I’ve never had a massage either, and I don’t like strangers touching me, but I had waxes, and manicures/pedicures. Sometimes I’m too lazy to do them myself. And I started taking painkillers years ago, to avoid the terrible pains every month (women’s stuff), but I’m still having trouble swallowing them most of the time.

  • Lela says:

    I’m not sure if I’m in love with you or your skirt?

    Decided. Both. <3

    Besos,
    Lela
    Fashion Blog – Lela London

  • Vera says:

    This is the first time I ever visit your blog. And I will definitely be back.
    Let me just say I find it very inspiring. You have such an elegant and lovely style. I LOVE your hair SO SO much =)

  • Erika says:

    I too have never had a pedicure or a massage. I think about getting a massage from time to time, but pretty sure I won’t go for a pedicure. I could probably use one, but have read too much about the germy conditions and that is enough for me not to. Love the post!

  • ray ban says:

    So nice pic!!! Love the skirt in dots!!! Lovely and sweet!!!

  • Ana says:

    I don’t have problems doing pedicures or manicures (I actually go do my manicure every week). Most manicurists here in USA are Vietnamese and barely speak English so they don’t try talking to you. I miss talk during manicure though. I talk a lot so I get a little bored while seating there watching the girl doing my mani. For pedicures, I go with a magazine so time can pass fast.
    I never had a massage mostly because I can’t relax and turn of my mind. I don’t do anything too Zen and relaxing. It get to my nerves. My thoughts start to run on my mind like crazy and soon I’m anxious to run out the door. i could do a massage if the masseuse would talk to me the whole time. Or I could read a book while being massage. Just to lay down and relax is impossible to me.

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