What’s black and white and red all over?

Forever Amber

running in heels

Forever Amber

red shoes

(Dress, River Island; shoes, Office c/o Idealo; clutch, stolen from my mum)

Thanks for all of your comments on my last post, everyone: I’m still feeling pretty craptastic about it all, to be honest, so here are some photos from the weekend, when, in a bid to try to take our minds off things, Terry and I took ourselves out for the traditional Easter treat of sushi. Now, as I knew that we’d be eating with chopsticks, dipping things into soy sauce, etc, I decided the very best choice of outfit for this would be a dress with a large off-white section right down the middle. Because there’s just no way I could mess THAT up, could I?

Well, folks, I didn’t mess it up. It wasn’t for the lack of trying, though. For reasons that are still unclear to me, my chair in the restaurant was much higher than Terry’s, and far too high for the table we were sitting at. This, combined with the fact that I was:

a) completely overdressed, as usual

b) wearing two large, red paper napkins (but hey! At least they matched my outfit!) tied around my neck, in an attempt to protect the cream dress from spillage.

and

c) having to kind of hunker over the table, so I was constantly talking down to Terry, as if he was a child and I a (very large) adult…

…all made me feel a bit like Alice in Wonderland, right after she drinks the bottle that makes her grow.

That aside, we did have a nice meal, and I returned home feeling quite pleased with myself that I’d managed not to spill anything on my dress: turns out there really IS a first time for everything! Except… not really. Because once we got home, we settled down to watch a movie, and I decided that now would be a good time to break out one of those chocolate eggs we’d been given. (Well, another one of those chocolate eggs, I mean. Because I was – and am – still feeling horrible about the car, and chocolate is good for shock, yes?)

Halfway through the movie, I glanced down at my front, and…

Forever Amber in red high heels

Yup, you guessed it – chocolate all over the white section of that dress. Damn.

The good news is that I managed to get the chocolate out without too much trouble, or, indeed, hysteria.

The bad news, of course, is that I’m obviously not quite as ready to be trusted in society as I’d hoped I was. And I will have to continue to get all dressed up, and then completely conceal my outfit by tying large tea-towels, or napkins, or tablecloths, or whatever else I can get my hands on, around my neck. Actually, come to think of it, I should probably just stop buying clothes, and wear sheets instead. Think of all the money I’d save!

Forever Amber

Forever Amber


19 Comments

  • char says:

    i’m the world’s best clothes-ruiner. If there’s a loud pattern on something you can be sure I won’t spill a thing, but if it’s a pale, plain or tricky-to-wash item, you can be sure I’ll spill something down it.

  • Alex says:

    Yesterday I was at work for four hours before I realised I had worn a red-and-white striped top with a bright pink nail varnish stain on it. Right on my chest.

    *sobs*

  • Doretta via Facebook says:

    Wow! Don’t you dare start wearing sheets! You make these outfits look stunning.

  • Andrea says:

    This is the most glamorous photo shoot ever Amber.

  • via Facebook says:

    Scott Armstrong No, I don’t: what do they say?

  • That she likes red shoes.

    That dress is fabulous, Amber. You look dead nice and all that. (:

    • Amber says:

      That’s what I thought it meant too – kind of horrified to think it was seen as a signal that I’m “looking for action” and welcome sleazy comments from strange men!

  • Panthera says:

    I so love the dress, and the shoes! Also the black and white photo with the striking red. You’re really inspiring me to play more with image editing. (Have found snapseed and pixlr-o-matic which really make image editing simple, and I can do it on the ipad – me = ipad addicted!)

    I don’t dip my Maki in soy sauce, I prefer them made with spicy sauce, and bonus; no spilling (well, I might spill rice or avocado pieces, but shush, delusion here)!
    But I ALWAYS manage to spill chocolate somewhere. Every-time I’ve had even a tiny bit of chocolate I find residue on either myself, where I’ve been sitting or what I’ve been handling. :(
    Chocolate seems to have some sort of magic “getting stuck to things” quality..

  • lindsay says:

    Stunning as always, love the red nails.

  • lindsay says:

    Stunning as always, love the red shoes and nails.

  • Tracey says:

    Well if anyone can make a sheet look good, it’s you.

  • You look gorgeous Amber, but I was already wowed by this look of yours through Instagram the other day, you are stunning my dear. Just read about what happened over your Easter break, so scary. I am truly happy to read that you and Terry are ok, and that the only thing truly damaged was the car. You are ok, both you and Terry, and that’s all that matters xxxxx

  • You are so gorgeous! If you happen to find out you have a long lost twin in the US with half as much grace and style as you LET ME KNOW! :-)

  • Karin says:

    God, you are beautiful! Wish I had that hair, those legs, that body and those shoes! Wow!

  • Britta says:

    Haha I’d loved your story, because my best friend is EXACTLY the same! She literally spills something once a day. A couple years ago, I bought her a baby bib from our university for Christmas in honour of it!

    Seriously love the dress though, so I’m glad you got the stain out! The way the white creates the silhouette is so awesome.

    And lastly, thanks for the lovely comments on my last post :)

    ~Britta
    http://www.vancouvervogue.blogspot.com

  • Hazel says:

    Absolutely love the dress and of course the shoes.
    My mum is the worst for spilling stuff on her clothes. The rest of us take bets on how long into the dinner something will spill (we really are lovely people).

  • Jo says:

    This look is absolutely fabulous. Classic yet bold enough to stop ‘em in their tracks.

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