Half-Assed Halloween Costume | Mia Wallace from Pulp Fiction

Mia Wallace Halloween costume

Halloween came early for us this year. These photos were actually taken a few weeks ago, before our friends’ Steven & Lindsay’s annual costume party, but I saved them until now, thinking I’d post them on Halloween itself. Then I noticed that every other blogger out there was doing costume photos this weekend, and, well, if all of the other bloggers jumped into the fire, I’d be taking off my shoes and getting ready to jump too, so here they are!

Now, if you’ve followed this blog through any of my previous Halloween posts, you’ll know that when it comes to costumes, I like to work with what I’ve got: or what I can buy really cheaply from eBay the week before the party, at least. I’d like to claim that I do this because I’m just so bubbling over with creativity that I relish the challenge of making something from nothing, but I think you all know me well enough by now to realise that it’s actually just because I’m lazy. And also kind of cheap, to be honest. I mean, why spend £30+ on a costume I’ll only wear for a few hours, when I can take that same money and buy a dress, or pair of shoes that I will love and cherish for the rest of my life at least a year, you know?

Enter Mrs. Mia Wallace, who many of you will remember as the Pulp Fiction gangster’s wife, who danced with John Travolta before OD-ing in a toilet and… I won’t spoil the rest if you haven’t seen the film.

Mia Wallace/Pulp Fiction Halloween costume

(Fake cigarette from a joke shop: remember, smoking kills, kids!)

(Yes, I know my nails are the wrong colour. I thought I had a darker, more Rouge Noir-like shade, only to remember on the night itself that I threw it out during an “I’m getting rid of all the nail polish I never actually use” purge a few months ago. C’est la via, said the old folks...)

Mia Wallace has actually been my stand-by costume for a few years now: I’d figured that if my feeble brain failed to come with something more creative, she’d make the perfect, half-assed Halloween costume. Because everyone has a pair of black pants, right? And everyone has a pair of black ballet pumps? And everyone has a classic white…oh. Yeah, I didn’t have a white shirt. I can’t even remember the last time I owned a white shirt. So much for being a “wardrobe essential“, huh?

All was not lost, though! I got the white shirt from the ASDA kids’ department, for about £4, or something similarly ridiculous. From the school uniform section, to be exact. (And because I couldn’t be bothered trying it on (See “cheap and lazy”, above…), and it turns out that I am not as familiar with my “school uniform” size as I thought I was, I got the wrong size, and had to safety-pin it at the back moments before we left, to make it fit. Then, just as we were about to leave, I bent down to pick something up, forgetting I was safety-pinned into my clothes, and instantly heard a loud riiiiiiiiip. Won’t be wearing that white shirt no more, that’s for sure.) The wig was similarly priced from eBay, the fake cigarette is a relic from Halloween costumes past, and the gun in the top photo was borrowed from our hosts. Total cost: about £10, I think. Cheap and lazy, at your service!

(Oh, I also had a syringe sticking out of my bra, which, yes, was really classy. Halfway through the evening, I had the brilliant idea of using it to dispense Absynthe to my friends, and that’s why I’m banned from next year’s party. Sorry, guys!)

As for Terry: well, given that I was going as Mia Wallace, the obvious solution was for Terry to go a John Travolta, a.k.a. Vincent Vega. But no, Terry had to go as The Gimp:

halloween

OK, he wasn’t actually the gimp from Pulp Fiction. And the monkey has absolutely nothing to do with… anything, really. Terry’s costume was basically just a re-working of one of his previous ones, and it’s not actually supposed to be anything in particular, it’s just supposed to be a bit freaky, and it was certainly that. We’re all still traumatised, actually.

And that was Halloween 2012. I would show you what our friends all wore, but I’d like them to still BE my friends after this post goes live, so I’m afraid you’ll just have to take it from me that they were all much better dressed than I was, and that a great time was had. Thanks again, Steven and Lindsay! Sorry I made you smuggle a toy gun into the gym, Steven!

Forever Amber