Lately

Rubin

countryside in Autumn

Autumn berries

vapour trails in the sky

Rubin

Well, folks, it looks like that wardrobe crisis I keep mentioning (and which is still very much ongoing), has given birth to a small blogging crisis too. Well, there’s only so many full skirts or skinny black pants I can show you all, and given that that’s literally ALL I wear these days, it doesn’t really leave me with much to talk about, huh?

And the fact is, this was never actually supposed to be an outfit blog anyway. When I first started this site, it was purely a personal journal, and I wrote about absolutely everything. Or absolutely nothing, rather: even back then, I was working from home, and basically working seven days a week (freelancing and running a business: the joys!), so my “journal” was mostly filled with the little daily details that are part of the tapestry of a not-particularly-exciting life. I documented all of these things, and it didn’t really matter: no one was reading, so I had the freedom to write about absolutely ANYTHING, without fear of disappointing loyal readers, or upsetting someone with an opinion which wasn’t appropriately politically correct.

What would you choose to write about if you had the freedom to write absolutely anything? Looking back at my archive, I see I mostly used that freedom to write about my failed attempts to exercise, the minutiae of life as a freelance writer, and my ongoing issues with my neighbourhood.Oh.

I wrote about all of these things, not because they were particularly interesting, but because the blog was the story of my life, and these were the things that had happened to me in that life, at that time. There’s not much point in keeping a journal of your life if you don’t actually write about your life in it, is there? So I faithfully recorded all of these mundane, and sometimes not-so-mundane little details, and I didn’t really think too much about it. I felt I had a right to tell those stories: they were part of MY story, and MY life, and as I said, there’s really no point in writing about your life if you’re going to miss out all of the interesting bits.

Lately I feel like I’ve been missing out of all the interesting bits. And I can’t really figure out a way around that. The fact is, that although this blog started out as the story of my life, I very quickly learned that it couldn’t possibly stay that way. As with most of my life lessons, I learned this the hard way, when one of my neighbours took exception to my posts about the neighbourhood, and started harassing me in the comments, to the point where we seriously considered moving because of it.  I stopped writing about the neighbourhood after that: in fact, I stopped writing about a lot of things. While I still felt that I had a right to tell those stories, it had never been my intention to upset or offend anyone, and the fact that I had done that made me seriously consider giving up personal blogging altogether.

What that experience taught me is that it is almost impossible to write about your life on the internet without editing it. Even taking angry neighbours out of the equation, it is SO easy to unwitting offend someone, and I’ve learned (again, always the hard way) that even what I think is a  totally innocuous, entirely factual comment, can cause drama I hadn’t even imagined. Hell, over on The Fashion Police, I’m frequently lambasted just for daring to venture an opinion on an item of clothing, so I can only imagine the hell that would break loose if I ever said something that was ACTUALLY controversial. Or, you know, interesting.

As you can imagine, this makes blogging about my life difficult. For the past few years, I’ve been increasingly aware that the only things I CAN safely write about are the boring things. If something interesting happens, it almost always falls into the category of Things That Should Not Be Mentioned on the Internet. The LESS interesting things, meanwhile, are just… less interesting… so I don’t write about those either. There are a lot of the Less Interesting things these days: I mean, I work from home, I live in a small village – don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about these things (in fact, I’m very grateful for them), but they do leave me with very little in the way of blog fodder.  The result is that gradually, my blog has become less and less personal, and more and more sanitised. I’ve been leaving out the interesting bits, in other words.

So, what does a personal blogger do when she realises she can’t write a “diary” without either boring people rigid or offending the hell out of them? Well, in my case, I started blogging about my outfits. Honestly, at that point I felt it was the only “safe” thing left. I had started second-guessing every single thing I wrote: worrying if I should say this, and whether it would be OK to mention that, and if so-and-so would be angry with me if I mentioned such-and-such. At the same time, my day-job meant that I was spending  much more time thinking about fashion than  I ever had before: most of the blogs I was reading were personal style blogs, and it just made sense to follow suit, and start writing about my outfits. As I said at the time, I didn’t make the switch because I thought those outfits were particularly noteworthy, or that they deserved to be blogged about: I did it purely to have SOMETHING, anything to write about – something non-controversial, and which would always provide me with a source of material, even on days when nothing else happened.

Now, though, I’m feeling so uninspired by everything I wear that I don’t even want to write about that, which leaves me with a big ol’ case of Blogger’s Block. I’m hoping it’ll end soon, and that I’ll somehow manage to get my groove back, but until then, here are some photos of my dog, and the surrounding countryside. I’ve never been a fan of posting just for the sake of it – I would rather only publish something here if I actually have something to say – so the content may be a little more sporadic around here until I find my way out of this funk, but I’m sure you’ll all cope with that just fine. And, as always, if you have any suggestions on how to break the block, I’d love to hear them…