Do you believe in miracles, readers? Of the “nail shine” variety, I mean? (Because, really, what other kind are there?)
I didn’t. Or not until recently, anyway. In fact, until recently, I very rarely wore nail polish at all. Oh, I’d slap some on every now and then, but “slap” is the operative word here. I’ve never been very good at applying nail polish (or, indeed, at filing my nails into the approximation of an actual, human fingernail. Mine always look more like spades. I am obviously missing a “nail” gene somewhere…), and I also don’t think it really SUITS me. I know that’s probably a strange thing to say, but it’s true: when I wear polish on my fingernails, I always think I look like a little kid who’s been playing in mummy’s make-up bag. Or like I’ve allowed that little kid to apply my nail polish for me, at least.
(I’m talking solely about polish on the fingernails, by the way: I always, ALWAYS have my toenails painted. I would feel naked without it.)
As if that wasn’t bad enough, because I’m too lazy too do the whole base coat-polish-top-coat thing, any polish I DO try to apply will chip within seconds of me applying it, and will thereafter look like ass. We all know how important it is for a young lady to be well-groomed at all times – whoops, sorry, started thinking I was in a Jane Austen novel again for a second there! – so this will drive me nuts, to the point where I rarely wear nail polish for more than a day without wanting to remove it.
Enter Sally Hansen Nail Shine Miracle, which, as the title of this post suggests, is, indeed, a bona fide miracle. Like Jesus used to do. It’s also a 10 day topcoat, which, according to the blurb on the website, “fuses manicure layers into one high-gloss protective shield that resists wear and tear”. Uh-huh.
This product actually entered my life last summer, the week before we moved house. I was at the supermarket picking up some house-moving essentials, and that was pretty boring, so before long I found myself in the beauty aisle. My nails had been looking particularly bad at that point, so I picked up this without much thought, and applied it as soon as I got home, because obviously when you have an entire house to pack up and move, the most important thing is to paint your nails first, amiright?
So, I applied the polish, with all of its claims of creating a “nail shine miracle!” that would leave my nails “diamond hard!” and “last for ten days!”, and then I forgot all about it.
Fast-forward to a week later (Oh, how I wish I COULD have fast-forwarded that week of moving!). My hands and nails had really been through the wringer at that point. Not literally, of course – we don’t actually HAVE a “wringer”, (SHOULD we, I wonder?) but if we DID have one, you can bet I’d probably put my hands through it – but it’s fair to say they’d worked harder than they usually do. I mean, most of the time, I just type all day, and that’s as tough as it gets on the ol’ hands. That week, however, I’d been packing and lifting boxes, plus scrubbing two houses to within an inch of their lives, so I had NOT (for once) been sitting around protecting my prechus nail polish, like a diva.
Here’s the thing, though: I probably couldn’t have given Sally Hansen’s “lasts for days without chipping” claim a tougher test if I’d tried… and IT PASSED. A full week of the type of activities that would generally destroy my nail polish in a matter of seconds, and the Nail Shine Miracle was still intact. I’d applied it on its own, without any colour underneath, but my nails still looked as shiny as they’d been the day I applied it. “Hallelujah!” I cried, opening the window and shouting to the skies, “It truly is a miracle!” And it was.
Since then, I’ve been through two bottles of the stuff, and it never disappoints. I wouldn’t say I get QUITE the ten days they promise on the packing: since that first week, I’ve experimented with wearing it over regular polish, and I’d say it last for around a week before I start itching to remove it. That’s still a full 6.5 days longer than my nail polish usually lasts, however, and when it does start to chip, it’s only at the edges, so it could be easily fixed if you were really insistent on making it last the full ten days. I still feel a bit like a clown when I try to wear nail polish, obviously, but now that I know it’s not going to just chip off after a couple of minutes, I’ve been motivated to buy a few new polishes, so while we’re on the subject, here’s one of them:
It’s Max Factor Glossfinity in # 55 ‘Angel Nails’, and it’s a kind of bronzey, glittery shade, which I like because it’s quite subtle, so it makes it less obvious that Rubin could probably do a better job of applying it than I do. It looks like this:
And that, my friends, is how I learned to love nail polish. Well, a little bit, at least…