Well, 2016 may have been one of the worst years of my life so far, but I’m relieved to say that it’s going out on a good note:
I got discharged from hospital!
Yes, after 8 weeks of blood tests, scans and non-stop stress, yesterday morning we drove to the Edinburgh Royal Infirmary for the last time. Of course, we didn’t KNOW it was going to be the last time when we set out, and, me being me, I’d worked myself up into such a state of panic about it that at one point I thought Terry was going to have to manhandle me into the car just to get me to the appointment, but the blood draw went perfectly, and a couple of hours later we got a call which started with the words, “Fantastic news…” Well, it was about time we got some of that, wasn’t it?
I’ll be completely honest: as relieved as I am to no longer have to worry about the possibility of surgery, or something going horribly wrong, the emotions that come with something like this are so complex that I don’t really know HOW to feel right now. As with any pregnancy loss, there’s a lot of sadness to work through, too, and I know it’s going to take a long time to fully process everything that’s happened, and to start feeling like myself again. As guilty as I feel to say it, though, I think I’m mostly just relieved to have these awful few weeks behind me now, and to be going into 2017 without any lingering worries or looming hospital appointments. It might not be the outcome we’d hoped for 8 weeks ago, when all of this began, but at least this new year will be a true fresh start, and I think that’s about the best I could’ve hoped for, under the circumstances.
With all of that said, I can’t end the year without saying a massive thank you to everyone who’s reading this. I’ve always known I had a particularly awesome bunch of readers, but this year has proved to me just how lucky I am, so to everyone who’s commented, emailed, or even just spared a kind thought for Terry and I over the last few weeks, thank you from the bottom of my heart – you will never know just how much your support has meant to us both, or how grateful we are for it. Thank you for reading, for following, for just being there to make me feel a little less alone: you’re amazing, seriously, and if anyone deserves to have the best new year ever, it’s YOU. Yes, you right there: I’m looking right atchya. Scary, no?
Speaking of the new year, I know I’m not the only one who’ll be happy to see 2016 come to an end, so rather than re-iterate how outright awful it’s been for so many of us, I’m just going to say, “Phew, thank God THAT’S over!” and leave it at that. As the song says, it’s been a long December, but who knows – maybe this year really WILL be better than the last? I hope so, anyway: and I also hope that, whatever you’re doing tonight, you have an awesome New Year’s Eve, and a wonderful 2017:
Happy new year, everyone!
Zara biker jacket
Tu faux-fur scarf (carried – it turned out to be too warm to actually wear it!)