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Three Go Down to the Sea

After my fun walk through Bandit Country, Terry and I decided it would be better if, for my next trick walk, we went somewhere far, far away from the Banditos. Or far enough away that I’d find it harder to…

Where we're livin'

The “Ginger” Strikes Back

I’ve mentioned here before that while the street Terry and I live in is as pleasant and suburban as it gets, some of the areas around us… aren’t. Well, they don’t call our part of town “Bandit Country” for nothing,…

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Crispy Surprise

As well as jelly sweets, one of my other favourite food groups is the Crispy Cake: you know, just like your mother used to make? And, lo! The Crispy Surprise turned out to be: Three crispy cakes, all covered in…

ducks

Wax Surprise

On Sunday night Terry offered to run me a bath. Well, of course I agreed, but little did I know that Terry was about to spring the WAX SURPRISE – duh duh DUH! Because I am stupid, it took me…

The Friday Five : Desert Island Items

I was going to call this one “Post That Isn’t About Surprises Surprise!” but I figured that may mislead people into thinking it’s going to be more interesting than it actually is, so I’m just going to be upfront and…

dog-books

Rubin’s Surprise

Well, would you look at that: looks like I DIDN’T find anything other than my birthday surprises to write about this week after all! Let’s just pretend I did, OK? I won’t tell if you don’t… Anyway, as I mentioned…

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H&M Surprise

One day soon, I will write a post here that ISN’T about the surprises Terry gave me for my birthday.  Maybe tomorrow, in fact. Or, you know, maybe not, because I’m actually quite enjoying writing posts that don’t require me…

teeth

Gel Surprise

As many of you have long since realised, I am secretly only eight years old. So when I woke up on Saturday morning and found this sitting on my desk waiting for me, naturally I shrieked like a child: And…

Calcium Surprise

Calcium Suprise

So, the Calcium Surprise turned out to be, not a carton of milk, but grilled haloumi cheese, cut into hearts and served stacked up, with a handful of grapes: Best. Thing. Ever.

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Surprise Red

I hate Fridays. Hate them. I know all the cool kids hate Mondays, but I reserve my ire for Friday, which is The Day From Hell for me, because, for reasons too complicated and boring to go into here, that’s…

Sparkle Surprise

I called in the “Sparkle Surprise“… …. and discovered that Terry now has to be responsible for all house-cleaning duties (including ironing, yay!) for the next week.  So my house will… sparkle.  Do you see what he did there? Of…

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Surprise, surprise!

It was my birthday on Tuesday. I didn’t mention it at the time because, well, I hate birthdays.  And because I was sulking and feeling hard-done-by on account of the fact that, wah, I just got older! But it was my…

Things I Bought: February Edition

Terry has just reminded me that I haven’t yet provided my monthly breakdown of Things I Bought for February and so, because I know the world will surely end if I don’t list these items, here it is… February was…

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I Am Not a Shop. Seriously.

On Friday, a very disturbing email flooded in: —–Original Message—– From: Tights With Flip-Flops Woman  Sent: 27 February 2009 16:45 To: Amber, Finder of Everything Subject: tights for flip flops I have a friend who has “problem feet” and wonder if you…

Ask Amber: Fashion, redheads and peeing dogs

Well, folks, The Great Haircut Wars of ’09 have left me feeling wrung out, like a limp rag, and that’s before I’ve even been anywhere NEAR the hairdresser.  So, in a bid to post something that’s NOT directly related to…

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I’m giving up blogging about my hair for Lent*

(*Note: ha, gotchya! Of course I’m not giving up blogging about my hair! Because what else would I blog about? No, seriously?) Well, The Internet has spoken on the important issue of What I Should Do With My Stupid Hair,…

Hair today, possibly gone tomorrow…

Say you’d had a really bad haircut. A haircut so bad, in fact, that even now, months later, you’re still growing it out, and while it may not look too bad to the naked eye, only you (and now the…

dusting

Confessions of a Shopaholic

(Note: this entry has nothing at all to do with the movie of the same name. Sorry, Google searchers, nothing to see here…) I know it’s the shortest month of the year, but seriously, February, are you STILL here? Do…

The Nail Polish Remover’s Revenge

Remember the time I used nail polish remover as toner, in a random act of stupidity? Today,  the nail polish remover had its comeuppance, in a particularly neat reversal of fortune which saw me spend 15 frustrating minutes trying to…

Status Report

All work and no play have made Amber a dull, dull blogger this week, folks, but of course, you knew that. In lieu of an actual entry, then, here are some updates on those burning issues I know you’ve all…

Everybody Hurts. Especially in February.

OK, February, you win. It’s become clear to me now that absolutely EVERYTHING I try to do this month is doomed to epic failure, so I’m just going to go back to bed until March, OK? Actually, wait: make that…

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Meme: Show Us Your Blog Spot!

Fi, (Of “Shoegal” fame) tagged me in the “Show Us Your Blog Spot” meme that’s been doing the rounds this month, and because this meme carries the threat “If you are tagged and do not participate, you will become allergic…

Random Act of Stupidity # 539

The latest installment of The Cold That Won’t Die has left me feeling run-down and miserable, so instead of getting out and about, and clocking up new Random Acts of Stupidity to amaze you with, here’s one from last Saturday…

Two heads are not necessarily better than one

One morning, back when I was a teenager, I woke up with more than the usual amount of heads. There was my original head, of course – the one on my shoulders, that had been there when I went to…

25 Random Things About Me

I’ve been tagged multiple times now on the “25 Random Things About Me” meme that’s been doing the rounds on Facebook lately, and so far I haven’t actually done it because, well, “over-sharing” is my middle name, and seriously, what…

Car Wars III – Return of the Car

Does anyone else ever get that thing where you go somewhere in your car (the local mall, say) and when you come back a couple of hours later, it’s SO COLD both of the locks on your car doors have frozen solid? So…

Things I Bought: January edition

Although I didn’t mention it on this blog (because that would have made it REAL, and, well, I didn’t really want it to be), at the start of this year I realised I’d been just a little bit “spendy” lately,…

The One With the “Twang”

This week I’ve been going to the gym on a semi-regular basis. I’ve done Body Combat. I’ve done Body Pump. I’ve done Blast Abs. I would’ve done Body Attack, but …. well, we all know what happened when I tried…

Car Wars II – The Car Strikes Back

One of the biggest advantages of being self-employed and working from home is that I don’t really have to leave the house very often if I don’t want to. In the winter, I don’t normally want to, so while we…

Voices In My Head

Well, it’s finally happened: I’ve started hearing voices. Luckily for me (or perhaps not, actually),  Terry and Rubin have also been hearing the voices,  so it would appear that what we’re dealing with here isn’t so much A Descent into…

A Note to Charity Collectors

Dear Charity Collectors, I already give to charity every month. I give to charities I have chosen, and I do it by direct debit. As much as I’d love to give more money, to more charities, if I gave to…

Sleep Talk

Terry and I are both sleep talkers. As you can imagine, this has led to some fun times in our house of an evening, and it’s weird because we can go for months without saying a word, and then all…

Friday Five – Aromas

This is a kinda boring Friday Five, but hey, “boring” has never stopped me before, so without further ado: What are your favorite smells/scents? Cut grass. Petrol.  Sunscreen. Rubin’s head (when he’s not been rubbing it in Unmentionables, obviously). The…

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Words I Have Started to Hate

Lately I’ve started to notice that the Internet has ruined some words for me. These are perfectly good words (well, some of them are, anyway…); words I’ve even used myself, and probably still do from time to time. But their…

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Good Housekeeping. (Er, not so much…)

A few quick housekeeping notes, regarding The Blawg, The House and, well, ME, basically. 1. The Blawg: For a few days around Christmas/New Year/Whenever, WordPress decided that rather than just publish all of the lovely comments people leave here, it…

The Afterbath

Radiant Red

A few weeks ago, I started using a new hair conditioner. It’s called ‘Radiant Red’ and as the name suggests, it’s made especially for us redheads. (And very good it is too, by the way: you should totally buy it….

That Girl

So, I went to the gym. In fact, I went to a Boxercise class, and here’s the thing about that: if you ever catch me mentioning doing another one, I want you to do that “reaching through the screen and slapping…

Starting as I mean to go on

Oh, hai Monday! You know how I promised you (in my own fool head, natch) that I’d make the absolute most of you, getting up with the larks (when do the larks get up, anyway? Please say 10am.), heading to…

2009: now with added idiots

Just in case anyone out there was worried that 2009 might not contain quite as many idiots as 2008 did, I present the evidence to the contrary, courtesy of a comment someone  tried to post on the The Fashion Police yesterday:…

Happy New Year!

Auld lang syne

I know I’ve said this before,  but because I’ve never shied away from the thought of repeating myself to the point of tedium, let the record show that I? Really don’t like New Year’s Eve. Basically, the passing of time…

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A Christmas Message from Rubin Santa Claus

  Yo ho freakin’ ho! Yes, folks, this “blawg” message comes to you from me, the Rubinman, Santa Claus, standing in for Amber because – guess what? Yeah, she’s freakin ILL. AGAIN. She totally got the cold, like really bad, on…

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Dear Santa, please bring me a monkey, kthxbai

Hey, guess what I appear to have got as an early Christmas “present”? Did you guess “another freaking cold?” Congratulations, you win the house cup! Now please shoot me… Yep, just in case the flu I had the week before…

Not photoshopped. Just looks like it.

Aaaand we’re back!

Did you miss me? Did you? Did you? Actually, on second thoughts, don’t answer that… So, we got back late last night after a three hour delay in an airport in which every second flight seemed to have been either…

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Gone, going

Well, folks, I have crammed the final pair of shoes into my suitcase, hidden two more pairs in Terry’s hand-luggage, and it looks like we’re ready to go. Our flight leaves early tomorrow and we’ll have to get up at…

Excess Baggage

Houston, we have a problem. Other than the “It’s the first week in December and I already spent my entire salary on shoes and clothes” problem, I mean.  A DIFFERENT problem. So, we’re flying out to the Canary Islands on Sunday. HAVE…

I don’t know “nothing”

I’m feeling a little better today. Only a little, but hey, at least I wasn’t up all night waiting for the sweet release of death, so that’s something. In a break from our regularly scheduled “Woe is me!” programme, then,…

I need a foil blanket…

Yeah, it was the cold. Only at night? At night it turns into the flu, and I lie awake wearing all the clothes I can possibly wrap around my body, accessorized with two hot water bottles, one heating pad and…

It’s like raaaaiiiin, on your wedding day…

I know I’ve hardly mentioned this AT ALL, but I’m going on holiday this Sunday. THIS SUNDAY. Before I go, I have 26 blog posts still to write, and I’m not even making that figure up: I actually have 26…

The Friday Five – Ear Worms

First up: I got another haircut. Yes I did. But! But! This haircut, it was a good haircut. Well, it wasn’t a bad haircut, anyway. Terry’s reaction: “It looks exactly the same as it did before.” Money well spent, then,…

Thankful.

We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here in the UK, obviously, but today we’re celebrating anyway, because as well as being Thanksgiving, today is also the day we got the results back from Terry’s latest round of blood tests. This something we…

The one where I get dog vomit all down my legs

Now, clearly this isn’t the classiest post title I’ve ever come up with in my life, but let it be a warning to you folks: if you have “problems” with vomit (you know, like I DO), you’re going to want…

The Friday Five: Feelings

This week has been full of fail, hence the “no blogging” here at Forever Amber. Sorry. Anyway, the Friday Five! Is back! And is actually quite appropriate this week, so here it is. Feel free to answer the questions too,…

Under Investigashun

Remember how earlier this week I was getting in a little bit of advance worrying about tonight’s full moon, and the generous helping of Crazy it would no doubt bring to my life? I was right to worry. This morning…

Amber the Omniscient

Lately I’ve noticed a dramatic increase in the number of people mistaking me for God. By that I don’t mean they’re getting down on their knees and worshipping the wonder that is Me, or even that they praise me like…

Hell is other people, especially in November

A quick note to the people in our town who are still setting off fireworks every single night, even although Guy Fawkes Night was four days ago: please, just get over it. My dog is losing his tiny mind here….

The Friday Five! It’s back!

Hey, folks, guess who’s back? Back again! The Friday Five’s back! Tell your friends! Yes, I created a monster ‘cos no one wants to see Amber no more, with her constant whining about the cold, the cold, and OMG, did…

The perils of working from home in the winter

I haven’t left the house since we got back from the Halloween party on Saturday night, other than a quick visit to Terry’s mum (who lives just around the corner) on Monday. I have no idea how this happened. I…

Aaaww!

Obligatory Election Post

OK, so it’s not actually “obligatory”, and I seriously doubt there’s anyone out there who hasn’t decided who they’ll be voting for, but just in case there is, I thought I’d put this out there again: Meanwhile: Seems pretty clear-cut,…

Sunshine! Bring it!

Fully Booked. Thank God.

The weather forecast for this week says snow. SNOW. And I know I hardly ever mention this here AT ALL, but I really don’t like the cold (did I mention I don’t like the cold?), so with the “snow in…

The Season of Three Outfits Per Day

Well, I’ve kinda sucked at updating this blog this week, haven’t I? I’ve been busy. And OK, also lazy, but mostly busy, stock-piling blog posts like a demented thing so I can go on holiday in December and not, you…

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By Popular Demand: the coat!

Slightly against my better judgement, but because several of you asked to see it: I decided to keep it in the end, after my mum showed me how to tie the neck properly (I had been doing it totally wrong….

Three Scary Monsters

Honest Blogger Award

When Caroline, of Second Hand Shopper fame, nominated me for an Honest Blogger Award, requiring me to list ten honest things about myself, my first thought was, “Christ, is there anything I haven’t yet shared with the Internet?!” My tendency…

Smugness: I has it

The Coat: a cautionary tale

So, a few weeks ago I became ever so slightly obsessed with a coat. As soon as I laid eyes on it I was all, “That coat will be mine!”, so what I did was, I did NOTHING. And it…

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Forever Amber: The Early Years. Part 2 – Toylet humour

When I was a child, my parents would occasionally find themselves looking after two dogs. The dogs in question were brothers: Snoopy belonged to my mum’s parents and Rusty belonged to my dad’s parents, and if both sets of grandparents…

Random acts of email stupidity

A couple of years ago, some cataclysmic event or other happened to my computer (clearly it was so cataclysmic all memory of it has been wiped from my mind, because I’m dammed if I can remember what it was) and…

The gym, one year on…

This weekend marks the one year anniversary of Terry and I joining the gym. We decided to celebrate the occasion by forgetting to renew our membership, so that when we turned up for Body Pump on Monday morning and tried…

Trolling the Internet 101

Dear Idiot Teenagers who thought it would be a good idea to post a whole bunch of stupid comments on The Fashion Police this week, calling me an “idiot” and generally advertising your lack of brain cells: It was not…

A new way to stalk me. Because stalking is fun!

Yesterday, I was looking at my website referrers, as you do when you have no life to speak of, and I discovered that someone had found this here blawg after Googling the phrase, “Amber McNaught has red hair”. Seriously. So,…

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Hairdressing Curse: broken!

So, yesterday I went to the hairdresser and had a big ol’ chunk cut off my hair. Now, I know what you’re thinking, but don’t worry, this isn’t going to be one of those entries, where I end up screaming…

How not to be a domestic goddess

Last night, as I waited for Terry to finish doing the grocery shopping online (they only charged us £5 for last week’s shop after the whole non-delivery debacle, by the way – result!) and make me dinner, it occurred to…

What we did on the weekend

So, for the past couple of years, Terry and I have been doing our grocery shopping online, and having it delivered. Because we are lazy, basically. And actually, I say, “Terry and I”, but really, Terry does ALL of it…

bichon frise

I’m so taking this out of his pocket money…

This morning I was wandering around the house, obsessively cleaning the floors, as you do, when my gaze drifted over to Rubin’s lair, which is where he drags the many things he has killed throughout the day, and I noticed…

Full Moon Fever

There’s a full moon tonight. Can you tell? I can. I can always tell, though, and I don’t even need the little “moon” symbol in my diary. No, I can tell when there’s a full moon because of the absolute…

Bandit Country

This morning I kicked off the day the way I meant to go on – by crawling all the way inside our blue recycling bin, to retrieve the letter I had intended to post in the usual fashion (in a…

Is this thing on?

Aaaand we’re back! Did you miss me? And have we got everyone? Show of hands, please, so I can work out whether all of my prechus readers have made the move to WordPress with me, or whether you’ve decided to…

Still ill

The title says it all, really. I’ll still ill. Oh, so very ill. Send flowers! And also: Haribo Mix. Just because. On Tuesday, when I last posted here, I was actually feeling like the cold was maybe on the way…

If I Ruled the World…

Oh, hai 1am on Saturday morning! Long time since I’ve seen you, no? Well, actually, that’s not strictly true, obviously. I mean, I did see you last Saturday morning, but that was by choice, because I’d been out on the…

Zero, Schmero

Today at the gym (four times in a row! GO ME!), before the class even started, I managed to: 1. Drop a barbell on my thumb, creating the kind of pain that makes your heart rise into your mouth, and…

A Tale of Two Cities. That we didn’t intend to visit.

So, the airplane that transported us from Edinburgh to Birmingham on Saturday morning? Was a toy plane. A tiny little 20-row thing, with little fragile wings and the look of a model aircraft about it. DAMN. I first noticed the…

The Hammer House of Hairdressing Horrors

Yeah, I know, I’m totally running out of clever titles for posts in which I go to the hairdresser and return with a headfull of crazy layers that don’t look any different AT ALL to anyone else but me. Sorry….

27 Dresses – but nothing to wear

You know what would make my life a whole lot easier than it currently is? Being able to dress myself without having to ask my mum, Erin, Terry, and the entire internet what I should be wearing. I mean, you’d…

GLAST Off

Hello, loyal reader, who has bravely remained with this blog through all of the “What I did on my summer vacation” posts! As a reward for your loyalty, here is a picture of the GLAST (no, I don’t know what…