I need a foil blanket…

Yeah, it was the cold. Only at night? At night it turns into the flu, and I lie awake wearing all the clothes I can possibly wrap around my body, accessorized with two hot water bottles, one heating pad and…

It’s like raaaaiiiin, on your wedding day…

I know I’ve hardly mentioned this AT ALL, but I’m going on holiday this Sunday. THIS SUNDAY. Before I go, I have 26 blog posts still to write, and I’m not even making that figure up: I actually have 26…

The Friday Five – Ear Worms

First up: I got another haircut. Yes I did. But! But! This haircut, it was a good haircut. Well, it wasn’t a bad haircut, anyway. Terry’s reaction: “It looks exactly the same as it did before.” Money well spent, then,…

Thankful.

We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here in the UK, obviously, but today we’re celebrating anyway, because as well as being Thanksgiving, today is also the day we got the results back from Terry’s latest round of blood tests. This something we…

The one where I get dog vomit all down my legs

Now, clearly this isn’t the classiest post title I’ve ever come up with in my life, but let it be a warning to you folks: if you have “problems” with vomit (you know, like I DO), you’re going to want…

The Friday Five: Feelings

This week has been full of fail, hence the “no blogging” here at Forever Amber. Sorry. Anyway, the Friday Five! Is back! And is actually quite appropriate this week, so here it is. Feel free to answer the questions too,…

Under Investigashun

Remember how earlier this week I was getting in a little bit of advance worrying about tonight’s full moon, and the generous helping of Crazy it would no doubt bring to my life? I was right to worry. This morning…

Amber the Omniscient

Lately I’ve noticed a dramatic increase in the number of people mistaking me for God. By that I don’t mean they’re getting down on their knees and worshipping the wonder that is Me, or even that they praise me like…

Hell is other people, especially in November

A quick note to the people in our town who are still setting off fireworks every single night, even although Guy Fawkes Night was four days ago: please, just get over it. My dog is losing his tiny mind here….

The Friday Five! It’s back!

Hey, folks, guess who’s back? Back again! The Friday Five’s back! Tell your friends! Yes, I created a monster ‘cos no one wants to see Amber no more, with her constant whining about the cold, the cold, and OMG, did…

The perils of working from home in the winter

I haven’t left the house since we got back from the Halloween party on Saturday night, other than a quick visit to Terry’s mum (who lives just around the corner) on Monday. I have no idea how this happened. I…

Aaaww!

Obligatory Election Post

OK, so it’s not actually “obligatory”, and I seriously doubt there’s anyone out there who hasn’t decided who they’ll be voting for, but just in case there is, I thought I’d put this out there again: Meanwhile: Seems pretty clear-cut,…

Sunshine! Bring it!

Fully Booked. Thank God.

The weather forecast for this week says snow. SNOW. And I know I hardly ever mention this here AT ALL, but I really don’t like the cold (did I mention I don’t like the cold?), so with the “snow in…

The Season of Three Outfits Per Day

Well, I’ve kinda sucked at updating this blog this week, haven’t I? I’ve been busy. And OK, also lazy, but mostly busy, stock-piling blog posts like a demented thing so I can go on holiday in December and not, you…

rubin-haircut1

By Popular Demand: the coat!

Slightly against my better judgement, but because several of you asked to see it: I decided to keep it in the end, after my mum showed me how to tie the neck properly (I had been doing it totally wrong….

Three Scary Monsters

Honest Blogger Award

When Caroline, of Second Hand Shopper fame, nominated me for an Honest Blogger Award, requiring me to list ten honest things about myself, my first thought was, “Christ, is there anything I haven’t yet shared with the Internet?!” My tendency…

Smugness: I has it

The Coat: a cautionary tale

So, a few weeks ago I became ever so slightly obsessed with a coat. As soon as I laid eyes on it I was all, “That coat will be mine!”, so what I did was, I did NOTHING. And it…

toylet

Forever Amber: The Early Years. Part 2 – Toylet humour

When I was a child, my parents would occasionally find themselves looking after two dogs. The dogs in question were brothers: Snoopy belonged to my mum’s parents and Rusty belonged to my dad’s parents, and if both sets of grandparents…

Random acts of email stupidity

A couple of years ago, some cataclysmic event or other happened to my computer (clearly it was so cataclysmic all memory of it has been wiped from my mind, because I’m dammed if I can remember what it was) and…

The gym, one year on…

This weekend marks the one year anniversary of Terry and I joining the gym. We decided to celebrate the occasion by forgetting to renew our membership, so that when we turned up for Body Pump on Monday morning and tried…

Trolling the Internet 101

Dear Idiot Teenagers who thought it would be a good idea to post a whole bunch of stupid comments on The Fashion Police this week, calling me an “idiot” and generally advertising your lack of brain cells: It was not…

A new way to stalk me. Because stalking is fun!

Yesterday, I was looking at my website referrers, as you do when you have no life to speak of, and I discovered that someone had found this here blawg after Googling the phrase, “Amber McNaught has red hair”. Seriously. So,…

new-hair

Hairdressing Curse: broken!

So, yesterday I went to the hairdresser and had a big ol’ chunk cut off my hair. Now, I know what you’re thinking, but don’t worry, this isn’t going to be one of those entries, where I end up screaming…

How not to be a domestic goddess

Last night, as I waited for Terry to finish doing the grocery shopping online (they only charged us £5 for last week’s shop after the whole non-delivery debacle, by the way – result!) and make me dinner, it occurred to…

What we did on the weekend

So, for the past couple of years, Terry and I have been doing our grocery shopping online, and having it delivered. Because we are lazy, basically. And actually, I say, “Terry and I”, but really, Terry does ALL of it…

bichon frise

I’m so taking this out of his pocket money…

This morning I was wandering around the house, obsessively cleaning the floors, as you do, when my gaze drifted over to Rubin’s lair, which is where he drags the many things he has killed throughout the day, and I noticed…

Full Moon Fever

There’s a full moon tonight. Can you tell? I can. I can always tell, though, and I don’t even need the little “moon” symbol in my diary. No, I can tell when there’s a full moon because of the absolute…

Bandit Country

This morning I kicked off the day the way I meant to go on – by crawling all the way inside our blue recycling bin, to retrieve the letter I had intended to post in the usual fashion (in a…

Is this thing on?

Aaaand we’re back! Did you miss me? And have we got everyone? Show of hands, please, so I can work out whether all of my prechus readers have made the move to WordPress with me, or whether you’ve decided to…

Still ill

The title says it all, really. I’ll still ill. Oh, so very ill. Send flowers! And also: Haribo Mix. Just because. On Tuesday, when I last posted here, I was actually feeling like the cold was maybe on the way…

If I Ruled the World…

Oh, hai 1am on Saturday morning! Long time since I’ve seen you, no? Well, actually, that’s not strictly true, obviously. I mean, I did see you last Saturday morning, but that was by choice, because I’d been out on the…

Zero, Schmero

Today at the gym (four times in a row! GO ME!), before the class even started, I managed to: 1. Drop a barbell on my thumb, creating the kind of pain that makes your heart rise into your mouth, and…

A Tale of Two Cities. That we didn’t intend to visit.

So, the airplane that transported us from Edinburgh to Birmingham on Saturday morning? Was a toy plane. A tiny little 20-row thing, with little fragile wings and the look of a model aircraft about it. DAMN. I first noticed the…

The Hammer House of Hairdressing Horrors

Yeah, I know, I’m totally running out of clever titles for posts in which I go to the hairdresser and return with a headfull of crazy layers that don’t look any different AT ALL to anyone else but me. Sorry….

27 Dresses – but nothing to wear

You know what would make my life a whole lot easier than it currently is? Being able to dress myself without having to ask my mum, Erin, Terry, and the entire internet what I should be wearing. I mean, you’d…

GLAST Off

Hello, loyal reader, who has bravely remained with this blog through all of the “What I did on my summer vacation” posts! As a reward for your loyalty, here is a picture of the GLAST (no, I don’t know what…

Haircut from hell. Sort of.

“Just a quick trim,” I said to the hairdresser, as I nervously eased myself into the torture chair this morning. Well, we all know the kind of luck I normally have with haircuts, and that’s no luck at all, basically….

Their Parents Must Be So Proud

Today Terry and I didn’t have time to go to the gym, so I decided to do my bit for the ol’ waistline by going out for a run around the streets of the neighbourhood. Within ten minutes of leaving…

How We’re Living

So, it turns out we COULD actually fit more kitchen stuff into the living room after all: Kitchen sink: not even visible under all that MESS. The rest of the kitchen stuff was delivered yesterday. The things in the picture…

things-we-learned-from-neighbours

Things We Learned from Neighbours

As some of you already know, because Terry and I never really grew up and left our student days behind us, the absolute highlight of our day is the 1.45pm broadcast of Neighbours. Don’t judge us until you’ve tried it…

Everything including the kitchen sink

So, this Saturday is my mum’s birthday, so over the weekend I went to the shops, and this is what I bought: Yes, platform pee-toes: the shoes of champions. So, yeah, Happy Birthday, mum! And don’t worry about these not…

Pump It Up

A long time ago, in a land not-so-very-far from here, there lived a beautiful princess young woman who decided to take a step class at her local gym. “I shall take a step class,” said the young woman. “Because I…

Inadvertently Ask Amber

So, longtime readers of this here blog (look, I like to pretend, okay?) will know that people tend to find me through some weird-ass Google searches, most of which involve hating redheads, avoiding having babies that are redheads and, er,…

Things We Learned from the Famous Five

Things We Learned from The Famous Five

When I was a child, I was addicted to The Famous Five books, by Enid Blyton. To this day, I cannot drink ginger beer or explore a network of secret underground passages without thinking about good old Julian, Dick, George,…

Haircut 101

First: after reading all of your comments on my entry about phobias, I realised that actually, I have WAY more phobias than I had written about, and, indeed, that I had completely omitted some of my biggest, and most all-consuming…

Blogophobia: the fear of having nothing to blog about

Inspired by Toni’s post yesterday about phobias, I thought to myself: hey! I have me some phobias too! In fact, my mind, it is a strange, creepy town riddled with dark, twisting alleyways which I bet the Forever Amber readers…

Video Killed the Radio Star

Actually, a better title for this entry would probably be something like, “Being so nervous she almost threw up on her dressing gown killed the radio star” but that doesn’t sound so good, and is way harder to sing, so…

Dave Barry loves me*

People, Dave Barry has linked to The Fashion Police from his blog. I am ridiculously exited about this because: Dave Barry! Read my blog! Or, you know, at least looked at it! His entry got 62 comments. Mine got… 2….

christian-louboutin-shoes-stop-staring-dress

The One Where I Am Deformed

So, I’m having a dress made. This is probably a mistake, because, as loyal readers (hi, mum and dad!) will remember dressmakers hate me. But I am doing it anyway, and unfortunately for me, a necessary part of this process…