When I was a little girl, I wanted to be an actress when I grew up.

(Well, amongst other things, anyway…)

When I did grow up, and entered the world of employment, I achieved my ambition. Oh, I wasn’t paid to act – or not literally, anyway. I was paid to be a newspaper journalist, a press officer, even a call centre operator, but as far as I was concerned, no matter what my official job title was, most of my time was spent acting.

the best thing about full-time blogging (it's probably not what you think it is...)

I would arrive at work in the morning and act like I was happy to be there.

I would act like the early mornings didn’t bother me, although I am far from being a morning person, and don’t generally feel human until at least 10am, and the second mug of coffee.

I would pretend to like and respect people I actually couldn’t stand.

I would say I didn’t mind staying late to finish that urgent press release, when all I really wanted to do was go home and get to be myself again.

I would sit in endless, pointless meetings and act like there was nowhere I’d rather be.

I would grit my teeth and smile when my boss asked me to work through my lunch break – again.

I would pretend to find my work interesting and stimulating, even when it involved answering the same questions over and over again, or covering the dullest meetings known to man.

In general, I made a living out of pretending to be someone I most definitely was not: a happy little worker bee who lived for the job and could think of no better way to spend her time than trapped in a windowless, airless office, earning money for someone else.*

And people think bloggers are “fake”.

These days? I don’t do a whole lot of acting

Oh, there are bits and pieces of pretense scattered throughout my weeks. Not being overly-fond of the phone, for instance, I have to pretend to be pleased every time someone decides to call me, or asks me to call them – which luckily doesn’t happen too often in my line of work. And there’s the occasional rude comment, which I have to pretend not to be frustrated by. But for the most part, I wake up every morning and don’t have to act like anyone other than myself. There’s an honesty to my working life that was sadly lacking before, and it’s perhaps the biggest reason why I’d never want to go back to office life. Well, that an the early mornings, of course.

I guess acting really wasn’t for me, after all.

*It had its good points, too.

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5 Comments
  1. I used to work at kindergatdens and I loved it even with the early mornings and the kids being way to awake at that hour. And then I went back to school and realized how hard it was for me to sitt still, so I know I would never be able to work in some kind of an office no matter how much I love accting.

  2. I love this. I’m sure there ARE “fake” bloggers out there but you never, ever come across as one of them and I’m 100% with you on having had to spend a lot of my working life pretending to be or think or feel something I didn’t – it’s such a relief to be away from all of that nonsense for the moment!

  3. I completely understand the idea of acting at work, although I’ve never really thought of it in those terms before. As someone who struggles with my career choice and longs to work from home, I’ve done my fair share of acting at my various employers. What I’m finding as I get older is that it is becoming harder to put on the act, though. Maybe it is part of that gradual ability as we age to no longer care so much about what others think, but sitting through a dull meeting and pretending to be interested or going along with a coworker’s obsessive need for control on a project just isn’t working for me anymore.

    1. This is SO me – I just can’t do it any more: in fact, I struggle even to do it socially, so I suspect in a work situation it would be even harder!

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