So, guys, it’s December.

You know what THAT means?

It means that I AM HAVING A BABY THIS MONTH, OMG!

THIS MONTH. This ACTUAL calendar month. As in, by the time it’s NEXT month, I will have a baby. Can you tell I’m having a bit of trouble processing this news?

So, yeah, just in case you missed it, my elective c-section is booked for December 29, but obviously I could go into labour before that, so who knows, maybe this will be the last Good, Bad and Awkward you’ll get from me this year, and then the next one will be filled with stories about dirty nappies and how many times I’ve been peed on? I mean, I hope to God not, obviously, but it’s probably best you be prepared. In the meantime, here’s a quick look at my painfully uneventful life over the past couple of weeks…

The Good:

new iPhone xThe iPhone X

My phone contract came up for renewal the same week the iPhone X was released. Technically, for a shameless Apple fangirl like myself, this should have been a really easy decision: as it turned out, though, I spent so long going back and forth between the iPhone 8 (which, to be perfectly honest, I was only really considering because it came in gold, and the X doesn’t. Yes, I am THAT kind of technology consumer…) and the iPhone X, that the phone company ran out of stock: whoops. In the meantime, Terry went ahead and bought himself an X, and after playing around with it for just a few minutes, I was all, “GIMME. GIMME NOW.” Fast-forward almost three weeks, and I finally had my sweaty little paws on one of my own. Honestly, I love it: the cameras are amazing, and, well, it’s a good excuse to buy cute phone cases, isn’t it? Exactly.

Watermelon flavoured jelly sweetsThese Watermelon flavour sweets

There’s an ice-cream place in the town next to us, which delivers things like waffles and milkshakes (and ice cream, obviously) right to your door. Well, obviously as soon as Terry knew about this, he was ON IT: he ordered some waffles, and I ordered these watermelon sweets, which were OMGTODIEFOR. So much so, in fact, that Terry ordered me a bunch more of them the next day. Aaaand, I’ve just realised that the way they’re all bagged up like that makes them look a bit like a bag of crack or something, doesn’t it? Which they kind of ARE, really, I guess…

Getting into reading again

I read loads during my 1st trimester – mostly because I was feeling so sick that I couldn’t really do much else – but as soon as the nausea faded, and I started to resume normal life again, I convinced myself I just didn’t have time for reading any more, so it fell by the wayside. I DID, however, continue to have PLENTY of time to aimlessly scroll through my phone before bed, though, and this week I decided enough was enough, downloaded some books, and gave myself permission to read them without feeling like I should be doing something else.

(Why do I always feel guilty about reading, but not about the aimless phone-scrolling? Y, THO?)

Anyway, I’ll try to do a roundup of what I’ve been reading soon, but for now, suffice it to say that reading was the first love of my life, and I’m really enjoying getting back into it again. I’m also finding that I’m sleeping much better, too – probably because I don’t have a phone stuck to my face for an hour before bed!

Meeting up with friends

I’ve been even more anti-social than I usually am lately, but last week we did have some friends round for dinner, which was really nice: especially given that my friend Mhairi is due just a week before me (THIS VERY MONTH, PEOPLE), so we were able to swap pregnancy war stories and such. We also picked up a few good tips from everyone, like how those little folds at the top of onesies are there so you can pull them down over the baby’s shoulders: WHO KNEW?

The Bad:

footprints on snow covered pathTrying to sell stuff on eBay

So, as part of our whole, “Clearing out the house” exercise, I stupidly decided to try selling some things on eBay. Big mistake. HUGE. And, I mean, I have only myself to blame here, because I know perfectly well that selling on eBay is always more trouble than it’s worth: still, though, no matter how many times I find myself saying NEVER AGAIN, I always end up being seduced back… and it never, ever works out.

The latest thing to annoy me about eBay is the fact that, no matter how low I price things, people will always try to haggle with me. Always. I only ever list items as Buy It Now (Because I know from experience that, if I don’t, they’ll all just sell for 99p each, and it’ll cost me more than that in fuel to drive to the post office with them…), I never check the “allow best offers” box, and yet still – STILL – every single item will get a bunch of questions from people wanting to pay less. Sometimes it’s just a tiny amount less, which makes me feel like they’re just doing it on principle, so they can feel like they got one over on me or something, and because I am mean and petty, I always say NO on principle too. Yes, I am a complete child, I know, but seriously, people, STOP TRYING TO HAGGLE WITH ME.

And don’t get me started on all of the people who send questions about my “never been used” item, to ask me if it’s ever been used. Or that person who raised a case against me on Friday, claiming they hadn’t received an item that was posted a month ago, and which they hadn’t bothered to contact me about until suddenly filing a Paypal dispute against me. WHO DOES THAT? (Oh, and according to the tracking number I sent her, Royal Mail had attempted to deliver the item the day after I posted it, but no one was home: TOTALLY MY FAULT, OBVIOUSLY. GOD.)

Yeah, I’m NEVER listing anything on eBay again EVER.

Until next time, obviously.

People who post comments/questions on posts they haven’t actually read

I’ve been getting a lot of this on social media lately, whereby people will respond to one of my posts with a question or criticism, and then, when I reply to them, they’re all, “Well, I know THAT: I realised once I read the post!”

Seriously, though, what’s up with that? Why comment on or question something you haven’t even read? I mean, I get not READING it – some of my posts are hella long, obviously, so no judgement there – but these people actually DO read it, they just choose to respond to it before they do it, and then they make me feel like I’ve done something wrong by answering them once they’ve already gotten the info from the post. WHY?

OMGSNOW

Yeah, it snowed. In November. It hardly ever snows here in November, so I was pretty gutted about it, although I have to admit, it WAS quite pleasant being able to curl up on Betsy with a good book, while the snow piled up against the window.

I’m mostly worried about the snow, though, because I’ve entered that special phase of pregnancy where, even although I still have five weeks to go, I’m petrified that I could go into labour at any second, and what if that happens, but it’s just snowed, and the roads are impassable, people? WHAT IF?

(This is actually not an idle worry:  during the Great Snowfalls of 2010 and 2011, we ended up effectively snowed in, as it was virtually impossible to drive on the snow-covered roads. Yes, I know the Canadians amongst you are LOLing at the very idea of this, but we Scots are REALLY not prepared for this kind of thing, seriously, and I spent a LOT of time during those long, hard winters worrying about what would happen if one of us needed an ambulance, and it couldn’t get into the street, because the road hadn’t been cleared. So, please, no, ‘But it’s SO PRETTY!” comments, here – I just need to know I’ll be able to get to the hospital if I need to!)

Christmas wrapping paperThe Awkward:

Putting on my one and only “dressy” maternity top…

… and then immediately dropping chocolate down the front of it.

One week later?

Doing exactly the same thing again.

It was a white top, obviously. It is… not so white now.

Having to admit…

… that, actually, that was just my stomach rumbling when Terry asked me what I just said.

I wish I could say I was just really hungry that day, but nope, I’d already eaten.

I also wish I could say that it was just one day that this happened on, but nope, it’s been multiple times now. Shhh, stomach, you’re embarrassing me!

Opening the door to the DHL delivery driver…

… and having him take one look at me and say, “Sleepless nights started, already, then?” As it happened, I’d actually slept pretty well for once the night before: I just hadn’t put my makeup on yet, and, rather than admit that, actually, no, that’s just what my face looks like without makeup, I just nodded and smiled and then made some lame joke about it being “good practice” for when the baby comes. Then I went straight upstairs and put on more makeup than a Kardashian…

Closing the door to the DHL delivery driver…

… and enthusiastically ripping open one of the parcels he’d just handed me, only to realise it WASN’T ACTUALLY FOR ME, but for my neighbour. GAAAAAAH,

In my defence, the delivery guy hadn’t actually bothered to mention the fact that he was also giving us a parcel for the neighbour (Because we work from home, and our neighbours don’t, we do this a lot, so I guess he thought it wasn’t worth mentioning?) and he’d also handed over a package for me from the same store, so I just assumed the order had been split into two parcels for some reason, until I started pulling out someone else’s clothes. SO. EMBARRASSING.

(On a side note, last week Terry took in an ASOS parcel for another neighbour, and when I saw it in our kitchen, I honestly felt like ASOS was cheating on me or something. Then I found it really hard not to be all, “Oooh, what did you GET, CAN I SEE?!” when she came round to pick it up…)

What’s been good, bad and/or awkward in your life lately?

11 Comments
  1. Lol, I think I remember the comment from the person who hadn’t read the post. And they got all riled up and patronising saying the hadn’t read the post, implying it was too long. Like, you comment without reading, making assumptions that are proven wrong by the post, and then get tetchy because the author corrected your assumptions? Like, LOL, get a grip XD

  2. I absolutely understand the worry about snow and not being able to leave the house due to roads. I moved 40 minutes into the city this year for college because I was afraid my parents home would be virtually innaccsible by road over the winter. Even when everyone’s ready, my parents road could not be plowed until the afternoon as it’s very rural and not a main road.
    I am Canadian and snow is no joke if you’re infastructure, as well as yourself, are not ready.

  3. Amber,
    I loved this post and laughed out loud several times. I live in the southeastern U.S. and when there is a CHANCE of snow, we usually close school early and everyone goes to the grocery store. It’s actually hilarious. (And by snow, I mean less than 1 inch.) But as I’m a teacher, anytime schools want to close is perfectly fine with me.

    1. It’s the same here – everyone reacts as if they’ve never seen snow in their lives before, and society basically shuts down until it’s gone!

  4. Oooh, I don’t think that snow made it to Clydebank… which may mean that I haven’t been leaving the house that much! That said, it has meant the Forth-Clyde canal path has been relatively safe to cycle on, if a bit muddy.

  5. I just have to say that I am looking forward to your humorous writing style once your little one is here. I feel like it will be a refreshing take on being a mom. Personally, I do not have any children, and one of the draws to your blog was that you were child-free and around the same age as me, but after having read your blog for so long now, the child-free aspect isn’t that important to me anymore.

    Also: my awkward thing happened just yesterday. I was going to pick up a cake for a friends bday, because I was instructed to pick up the cake, but then I get there and someone else was picking up the same cake. My friend meant for me to pick up the PIZZA and not the cake, and had sent me the wrong message. And the cake was for the family party not the friend party, so it wasn’t even someone I knew. GAH.

  6. Glad you enjoyed the dinner party and hope the husbands did all the cooking and clearing up and you ladies put your feet up and enjoyed the food.

    Bet you asked Terry to take the parcel you opened in error to the neighbours lol.

  7. (Why do I always feel guilty about reading, but not about the aimless phone-scrolling? Y, THO?)

    THIS, LOL! I always tell myself I’m far too busy to do X relaxing activity, but then waste an hour down a black Internet hole. So silly!

  8. That wasn’t such a nice comment from the delivery guy! Whenever people say I look “tired”, in my head I translate that as meaning I look like crap that day. But anyway I’m sure you looked nice! I laughed at Terry asking what you said when it was your tummy rumbling! I got a pregnancy massage recently and my tummy was so loud the lady commented a few times, so embarrassing! She said something about me being hungry and I agreed even though I’d eaten a sandwich half an hour earlier! Oh dear to spilling chocolate down nice tops. Hate when that happens! Yep, so crazy you will be giving birth THIS MONTH!! Exciting!

  9. We had the Big Snow Day (TM) yesterday. And OF COURSE nobody was prepared for it. Because it’s December and the weather forecast had only been talking about it for days… I mean, who could possibly have expected SNOW??!!
    And the drivers immediately split into the ones who would only go at walking speed and annoy the heck out of you, and the ones who drove as if nothing was different and had you fear for your life.
    My god, people: It’s snow. It’s rare around here, but it happens. Keep calm and carry on…

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