I know many of you are too busy preparing for Christmas to be even remotely interested in reading blogs right now,  but, well, that’s never stopped me before, so for anyone looking for a bit of a break from the relentless Christmas overload,  here are some of the good, bad and really quite awkward things that have happened to me lately…

The Good:

Amazon Echo Dot speaker

Alexa

Last week, Terry and I somewhat randomly* decided we needed an Amazon Echo in our lives, STAT. Actually, we decided we needed TWO: we got an Echo Dot for the bedroom, one for the office… and then, roughly an hour after they arrived, and we set them up, Terry sheepishly informed me that, actually, he’d just gone ahead and ordered the full-sized Echo speaker for downstairs, because, now that he’d met Alexa, he felt he couldn’t possibly live without her on every single floor of the house.

Yeah, I DID feel a bit put-out, to be honest. At the same time, though, I had to admit that ol’ Alexa WAS proving pretty handy, so I was prepared to live with Terry’s infatuation. I’m actually planning a future post on all of the things we use Alexa for, but suffice it to say that I don’t know how we lived without her either, and, OK, I HAVE started sarcastically referring to her as “Terry’s girlfriend”, but hey: at least there’s someone in the house who actually listens to me now, you know?

(*OK, it wasn’t actually random, it was because I kept seeing adverts for it, and as soon as I see an advert for something I want it. When I watch daytime TV, Terry has to stop me signing up for things like stair lifts and funeral plans, seriously…)

pink primark stilettosThe most ridiculous shoes ever

Because when you’re 8.5 months pregnant, you TOTALLY need a pair of pink, marabou trim stilettos, don’t you?

(And also because they were £14 in Primark: don’t yell…)

The Bad

full term baby bump / maternity outfitThese comments from “Rex”:

Rex is a bit of an asshole

Rex, hun: U OK?

(On the plus side, I’ve amused myself greatly this week by just randomly uttering the words, “AS A MAN, I REQUIRE ASSISTANCE!” Sometimes it’s the little things, you know?)

People who touch my belly

I’ve talked about this before, I know, but I’m so amazed there are people who think this is an OK thing to do that I’m having to bring it up again: sorry. As with the everyday sexism I mentioned a few weeks ago, the main culprits here tend to be older women, who think absolutely nothing of just walking up to me and grabbing my belly, even if they’ve only just met me, and have no idea whether or not I’m likely to punch them in the throat for it. So far, I’ve managed to resist, but I DID like the suggestion someone on Twitter gave me to just grab hold of their belly in return. Well, if it’s OK to do it to ME…

Makeup on WindowsillThe Awkward

Trying to take blog photos in winter…

… and then being caught in the act of staging a flatlay on your front doorstep (Because it was the only was you could get enough light to actually take the damn photo) by your neighbour. And then also by some guy delivering leaflets for one of the local takeaways. Whoops.

It, er, seemed like a good idea at the time, you know? And, OK, I guess I could have set up the studio lights instead… or even just tried to take the photo in the back garden, where no one would’ve seen me. But it was freezing outside AND  I was choked with the cold… getting out the studio lights seemed like a monumental task, and hauling my entire flatlay round to the back of the house wasn’t much more appealing, so I took the lazy – and super-awkward – way out instead.

Yeah, I won’t be doing THAT again in a hurry.

Absolutely everything about the last couple of weeks…

… and I’m using the word “awkward” here in the “uncomfortable” sense of the word, because, in between flooding the house by accident, and then putting it back together again, Terry and I basically had to camp out in our own house. This would’ve been awkward even at the best of times (The bedroom and en-suite are basically the worst possible rooms for me to have out of commission, because that’s where I keep everything from makeup and toiletries to PJs, nightwear, and my entire collection of maternity clothes…), but at 8.5 months pregnant? Yeah, no thanks.

Shout out here, though, not only to Terry, who dropped everything in order to rip up the old flooring and replace it with new stuff, but also to my parents, who came round to help with the clear-up, as well as carting off innumerable loads of rubbish to the local skip. Couldn’t have done it without you guys – and I promise, we’ll do our absolute best to never, ever do it again!

 *  *  *

And with all of that out of the way, all that remains is for me to wish you all a very happy Christmas, if you’re celebrating – and an awesome weekend, if you’re not!

12 Comments
  1. Don’t worry that no one will read your blog because they’re too busy with Christmas preparations, there’ll always be someone that doesn’t prepare for Christmas- like me!
    I wish you a merry Christmas and all the best with your new floor, Terry’s girlfriend, people touching your belly and your son who will be here in a week (is it weird that I’m getting excited? Probably).
    Lots of love and support!

  2. Ooh… I look forward to reading what you ask Terry’s girlfriend… (What with the female name anyway?) I want an echo dot, but I can’t justify it even to myself… by all means, convince me I need one! I am thinking about you and Terry and your baby. Have a lovely Christmas! I will be here waiting to read whatever you feel like writing.

  3. I think everyone is starting to wind down for Christmas now, although I’m finding having more spare time a good excuse to catch up with some of my favourite blogs! I can’t believe people think it’s okay to touch your stomach when they don’t even know you – I would feel so rude doing that x

    Jenny | LuxeStyle

  4. I love reading your updates, thanks for posting!
    Have a lovely Christmas and hope everything is going well, smoothly and peacefully and happily for you. And some sleep, sleep is good.

  5. Thankyou Amber for providing me with so much entertainment, I read all your blogs, nobody else, why go elsewhere when I already have the best !!
    I’m intrigued to find out about Alexa, do you have to have a smartphone to use it, if so it’s no good for me.
    I’m still in the Dark Ages !!
    We have a very quiet modest Christmas, so I haven’t got much to do, I did too many BIG Christmases in the past, I’m not missing out on anything. Hence I have time to chat to you.
    Thankyou for introducing me to the world of robot vacuum cleaners, and lovely cut price clothes ( Everything five pounds) I’m enjoying the benefits of both !!!
    I wish you a peaceful Christmas and a Happy Birth experience.

  6. I wonder how they’d react if you just took their hand and put it away from your belly with a polite smile, saying simply: “Could you not touch me, total stranger I just met, please? Thank you very much!”… I mean, it’s your right to do so, since they took the liberty to paw at your belly, lol.

  7. Love this post, it’s so nice to read something a bit more personal. Those pink shoes are gorgeous, I can’t believe they’re only from Primark! You’re 8.5 months pregnant, that’s enough of a reason to treat yourself 🙂

    I couldn’t imagine random people coming up to me and touching my belly, it’s a bit inappropriate! Sorry you have to deal with that, I suppose it’s hard to tell them not to when they’re older ladies!

    Georgia Megan

  8. Oh Rex, poor Rex! Got a dose of testosterone poisoning, hmmm?

    As a Social Security Card-carrying older woman, I solemnly swear that I will never touch your belly or that of any other pregnant woman unless expressly invited to do so.

    And I read all your blog posts, except a few of the How to Blog ones.

    Take care and have a merry Christmas!

  9. Merry Christmas, Amber and Terry! Thank you for a year of really great blog posts, all of them! I probably laughed the hardest at poor Rex — he needs to get a grip! Maybe he should start his Christmas shopping a little earlier, then he won’t be so… angsty! Looking forward to the baby update, I just know that everything will go well for you all. In about a week, you will be a mommy and daddy, how exciting is that?!?!

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