what happened when I let my husband do my makeup
It’s a far braver thing I do today than I’ve ever done before. 

Yes, I’m letting my husband do my makeup. And then posting the photos on the internet. Because THAT’S not a recipe for disaster, is it?

So, a couple of weeks ago, I let Terry choose my outfit, and he didn’t do too bad a job of it, give or take a hat or two. In fact, a few of you said you’d quite like to see Terry take on another challenge, and the success kinda went to his head, to be honest, so when I suggested he have a go at doing my makeup, he was all for it.

“I’m a creative person,” said Terry confidently. “I bet I’ll be good at it. In fact, I wouldn’t want to be you, because everyone will think my makeup skills are better than yours, and they’ll say I should do your makeup ALL the time!”

Just for the record, here’s what my makeup normally looks like: and yes, I AM mostly just showing you this so there’s at least ONE semi-decent photo of me in this post: [/FORESHADOWING]

makeup look using drugstore products

(Um, not to be a pain about this, but if you could please just take a good, long look at this photo, and, whatever happens next, remember that this is what I REALLY look like, that would be great…)

Despite his confidence, Terry knew the outfit he’d put together was going to be a hard act to follow, so, just to make sure he did his best work, he decided to watch some You Tube makeup tutorials first.

“Did you know there’s a thing called countouring?” he said importantly, coming into the office one day. “And that it makes you look like a clown?”

“Er, I DO know about countouring,” I said, “And it’s NOT actually supposed to make you look like a clown, no. You’ve not been on Kylie Jenner’s channel, have you? Am I going to have lips the size of Texas by the end of this?”

“Absolutely not,” said Terry, looking offended. “Do you have any gold lipstick, though? And some really bright eyeshadows – like, the craziest colours you can get?”

Funnily enough, I DIDN’T have any gold lipstick. Or, indeed, any bright eyeshadows: in fact, when I got my new dressing table, earlier this year, I had a big clear-out and got rid of everything I wasn’t using, so now I basically have 15,000 red lipsticks, a small collection of tastefully neutral eyeshadows, and… that’s it, really. And this, my friends, is why I’m not a beauty blogger.

urban decay naked palette

(Guess which colours I use most often?)

“It’s time to break you out of your makeup style rut, and try something different for a change,” said Terry, and you know what? I started thinking maybe he was right. Maybe this little experiment would help me shake things up a little, and discover a whole new look. Maybe we would discover a secret, hidden talent for makeup, lurking in Terry’s fingertips! Or maybe I really would end up looking like the bizarre lovechild of Kylie Jenner and a scary clown? There was only one way to find out: first, though, Terry was going to have to borrow some makeup from my mum, who turned out to have a surprisingly large stash of eyeshadow and lip palettes.

“Are you not embarrassed that your mum has a better makeup collection than you?” asked Terry, rummaging through the stash in the hope of finding that elusive gold lipstick. And honestly, I was a bit: because my mum doesn’t even WEAR makeup. So I quickly scrawled “Buy more makeup,” on the bottom of my ‘To Do’ list, before joining Terry at the dressing table, where he was waiting for me with… wait: was that DUCT TAPE in his hand? Was he planning to do my makeup… or kidnap me?

“It’s OK,” said Terry, noting my confusion. “They do this on You Tube all the time. It’ll be fine!”

Then he stuck a piece of yellow tape under each eye, until my face looked like a crime scene:

What happened when I let my husband do my makeup

tape on eyes to create perfect winged eyeliner - allegedly

“It’s to make sure you get the eyeliner in a straight line,” explained beauty guru Terry, before getting right to work with a LOT of eyeliner. (I did my foundation and concealer myself, by the way: Terry said that he “couldn’t be bothered with it” because it “didn’t require his artist’s touch”. Which just goes to show what HE knows, right?)

Ten minutes later, he was STILL working on that eyeliner.

my husband did my makeup: here's what happened...

“Now you know why you should never ask a woman with winged eyeliner why she’s late!” I quipped, hilariously. “Seriously, though: I’d have done my whole face by now – just sayin’.”

“Yeah, but you wouldn’t have done nearly as good a job,” retorted Terry, before turning his attention to the bit he’d been most looking forward to: contouring.

“Which brush should I use for this?” he asked. It felt a bit like cheating (Mind you, I’d also done my own mascara by that point: no way was I letting him poke a stick into my eye…), but I handed him the contour brush, only to have him reject it in favour of the smallest brush in my collection.

“That’s an eyeshadow brush,” I pointed out, before I could stop myself.

“This is very fine work I’m doing,” said Terry, offended. “It requires precision and attention to detail!”

It also apparently required a whole lot more time. I think I possibly feel asleep for a few minutes, but he woke me up to start with the whole “gold lipstick” thing again. Seriously, WHAT IS IT WITH THE GOLD LIPSTICK?! Does ANYONE wear gold lipstick? Anyone OTHER than Lady Gaga, and other people who are considerably funkier than me, I mean? Because I have never owned a gold lipstick in my life, and I don’t think Terry will EVER get over it.

In the absence of the gold lipstick of his dreams, Terry was forced to content himself with MAC’s ‘Russian Red’, which gave me a brief moment of hope, until I remembered how much time he’d spent on eyeliner, and how empty the tube had looked when he was done with it. The lipstick, it turned out, was particularly problematic…

“It’s like, one side of your mouth is totally different from the other?” he said, in exasperation, confirming what I’ve been saying about my lips for years now. “And there’s no line, so you don’t know where to put the stuff? I feel like your mouth is just getting bigger and bigger, and OMG, where will it stop?!”

He tried his best, poor soul, but finally my wonky mouth defeated him, and he put the brush down. “It’s hard to be a woman,” he declared mournfully. “I’m glad I don’t have to wear makeup every day.”

I’m glad I don’t have to go out in public bare-faced every day,” I told him. “Don’t disrespect the makeup!”

Finally, he declared himself done. And because I know you all just skipped the text and scrolled down to see the final result, here it is…

what happened when I let my husband do my makeupAre you ready? Because I sure wasn’t…


TA DA! And also: OMG!

Er, at least the eyeliner is pretty straight? No?

Here are some better photos. And by “better”, I mean “worse”:

what happened when I let my husband do my makeup
what happened when I let my husband do my makeup

what happened when I let my husband do my makeup

To be fair, I actually think he did a pretty good job with the eyeshadow. Maybe not so much with the countour, which ended up in a giant stripe on the side of my face, but then again, “That’s what Kim Kardashian’s looks like,” pointed out Terry, and, well, you can’t really argue with that. The lipstick, meanwhile, was just a straight-up disaster, but at least this experience confirmed that I’m not exaggerating when I tell people I don’t have a lip line, and that it’s almost impossible to apply lipstick to my lips without making a mess. That’s my excuse, anyway, and I’m sticking to it.

(Terry’s asked me to point out that he was NOT happy with his work on the lips, but he was getting bored by that point, so he decided just to go with it, because YOLO. Or something.)

For me, the most interesting thing was the difference in our approaches to makeup. I wrote about it at great length here, but I basically use makeup to try to “fix” the things I’m not happy with: so to cover the shadows under my eyes, to fill in the bald spots in my eyebrows, to even out my skintone, and to try to balance out my wonky lips. Terry, though? Terry just had fun. He didn’t bother with any of that stuff: I, for instance, spend a lot of time on my eyebrows – Terry just left them alone, and went straight to the eyeliner and shadow – oh yeah, and the contour. I’m not saying I’d actually go out like this, obviously, but it WAS his first ever attempt at using makeup, and what he lacked in skill, he made up for in enthusiasm – which kinda made me want to start experimenting a bit more, actually.

Just… NOT with gold lipstick, obviously…

[Thanks again to Terry to agreeing to take part in this, and for even going so far as to watch some tutorials in an attempt to learn the “craft”. You rock, Terry – just don’t try to put lipstick on me ever again!]
36 Comments
  1. Great post again. I think he did a decent job too considering. I did a similar thing on a very low quality video with Miz once and although he really did try his best I think your Terry did better.

  2. Omg your commentary was hilarious! You look completely different with the eye makeup, I was so surprised – it gave you a kind of a vampy look, especially the eye shadow and the upper eyelid liner, very dramatic (in a good way). And this as a result of applying makeup the first time ever (with your help, of course:) ? Good job Terry!

  3. I did a pretty poor job, sorry about that. I have a new found respect for the art of makeup.

    Let me know when you get gold lipstick and I will sort you a whole new look 😀

    Husband x

  4. I’m really impressed with eyeshadow and liner – top marks there. With a bit (alot) more of blending the contouring would have been more subtle as well. The lipstick thing – well, you can’t rock at everything!

    I have a feeling if himself did my make-up I’d look like Marge Simpson after Homer used the make -up gun on her……………………………..

  5. I think he did a pretty good job, considering it was his first time! Much, much better than other “husband does my makeup” videos I saw online. Thumbs up for you Terry!

  6. OMG, I can’t wait until you finally buy gold lipstick with the promise that Terry will try again! I actually love the look that I think he was going for if you have some sort of special (sultry?) occasion. Two thumbs up for Terry’s effort!

    I enjoy these posts. Has Terry tried mani/pedis, doing your hair, buying you an outfit? Please keep this series a semi-regular thing.

  7. Very impressed with the eyes Terry, a little lighter on the eyeliner would be an improvement, but love the eyeshadow and how it’s blended. Amber, I think you should experiment with your make up and try the vampy look, it suits you

  8. I knew this post would be brilliant fun and I wasn’t disappointed! It’s actually an excellent novice effort by Terry and it’s great seeing you all vampy for a change. I am not going to let my husband do this challenge though. I once let my niece do some contouring on me… that was enough! X

  9. Thank you both! The whole post was hilarious.
    At the end, you look a bit like Susan Sarandon in the Witches of Eastwick and even if you have gorgeous red hair I had never think of it before. It confirms that eighties makeup was definitely a contouring stuff already and not that your features really look like hers.
    Maybe you can rock it for Halloween 2016! Terry in Jack Nicholson’s part…

    Conclusion, 1) you remain beautiful in spite of Terry-ble attempts to transform you; sorry Terry 😉
    2) it’s very brave from both of you to offer us such funny posts.

  10. This made me laugh so hard. The commentary was the best. And I agree, his eyeshadow skills were pretty on point lol not sure if I would allow mine to do this though!

  11. This was so funny to read! I love the fact that you had to use your mum’s make-up too… I wouldn’t risk that myself, my mum’s make up collection is almost entirely shades of blue and green. I think Terry may be onto something with the eye makeup though – the heavier eyeliner really suits you! (Although perhaps wants a little more refining)
    Jennifer x
    Ginevrella | Lifestyle Blog

  12. Let the record state that he actually did quite a good job of blending the eyeshadow! That’s taken many a woman down… I second that I quite like the vampiness – I think he may be onto something. But the contour stripe may have put me off the idea for life… 😉

  13. Omgosh! You are one brave lady 😉
    1. You do your makeup very nice!
    2. Your husband, while great for his first try, is leagues beneath your skill 😉
    3. He is still better than me, so there’s that, ha
    4. I would like to see your take on a more dramatic eye, it does give you such a different look!

  14. I literally laughed out loud while reading it, I had to explain to my partner what I was laughing about! I have to say Terry did a better job than my first attempts when I was 15 or 16, and he probably is better at eyeliner than I am anyway… (i am so rubbish with it. I do ok with eye pencils, but liquid liner? Oh no…) I was amazed at how different you looked, you totally should take a page out of Terry’s book and experiment a little with your eyeshadow and liner occasionally…

  15. Not bad at all! You could definitely get away with the eye make up on a wild night out. Not sure about the rest tho…..;) very entertaining. Xx

  16. I love this so much!! Even better than Terry choosing your outfit, and I thought “Bolly rolls” can’t be topped. You are one brave woman!
    This is one of my top 3 posts of yours this year!

  17. Apart from being a little heavy on the eyeliner, it actually looks not too bad! The winged eyeliner look really suits you. It’s given me the inspiration to try it myself – if Terry is game enough to tackle it, surely I can have a go!

  18. Would have been fun to see what the gold lipstick would have looked on, to be honest, I think it might make for cool Halloween makeup, like a vampire or something 😉

    PS: A lot better then when my husband did my makeup, that was for Halloween though, but in the end it looked like I had been attacked by a kinder garden full of kids with paintbrushes (mostly black and red).

  19. I really enjoyed this post, it was such a funny read! I also find it interesting to note that most of my eyeshadow pallettes are super natural ones now too, considering until about three years ago I probably only owned really bright colours!

    Nicola // pink-confetti.co.uk

  20. OMG Amber I’m so sorry but I literally burst out laughing when I finally saw the finished result… I don’t know what I was expecting but I wasn’t expecting so MUCH make-up!!!! To be fair Terry’s done a reasonable job, though I wish wish wish he’d done your base too, that would have been classy too I think 😉

    I often have these strange thoughts where I wonder what would happen if I broke both my arms – my first thought is always “Aaaaargh Mr Summers would have to put on my make-up and oh god what would I look like?!!!” Absolutely fantastic post, my dear!

    Catherine x

  21. Oh I’m just now seeing this from your stats post reference…and I must say I am blown away! Terry clearly has a unique touch with makeup…for an 80’s metal band video maybe? 😉 His enthusiasm is charming though, I think my hubby would lose the plot quickly if I asked him to try this!

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