Just in case anyone out there was worried that 2009 might not contain quite as many idiots as 2008 did, I present the evidence to the contrary, courtesy of a comment someone tried to post on the The Fashion Police yesterday:
“ALL THOSE DRESSES SUCK AZZ WITH DOO DOO IN THE MIDDLE!!WHO IN THE HELL DESIGNED THESE DRESSES WERE YOU ON CRACK!!!
WTF IZZ UP WITH THESE DRESSES THERE SO UGLY I WOULD NEVER WERE THEM MAB TO LIK HALLOWEEN BT PROBLY NOT EVEN DAT EWW WTF IZZ UP IN YOUR MIND WHEN U DEZZINEN DEZZZ STUPED FUCK YOU BITCH!! GO [this bit removed because I hate to think of the kind of Google traffic it would bring me] THEN THINK ABOUT CUTE DRESSES DUMB AZZ HOE!!”
So! Yet more evidence to present when I submit my “people should have to pass an intelligence test before they’re allowed to use the internet” case to the powers that be. Whoever they are.
Luckily the spam filter did its job and stopped this work of genius from being published, but it took the brainiac who wrote it a further six attempts to post it before they realised it wasn’t going to happen. Still, I guess that’s more or less what you expect from someone who gives their name as “YOU SUCK BALLS”, although I must admit, I’m curious to know just what grammar and spelling did to this person to make him/her want to abuse them so thoroughly.
Of course, this comment has set the bar pretty high for 2009. How on earth will the other idiots out there manage to outdo this one, I wonder?
The one where I win an award
Yes, it’s true, folks, I have won something!
Well, OK, actually it’s my blog, The Fashion Police, which has won something, but seeing as I’ve never won anything else in my life before (Disclosure: I once won bacon and eggs in a school raffle. I was 12 at the time.) I’m feeling pretty pleased.
The Fashion Police was the winner in the fashion category of the Glam Network Awards 2009. It’s an award that’s voted for by blog readers, and, as I say, it’s the first thing the site has ever won, so I was super-excited when I checked my email yesterday and discovered we’d won. Especially given that, moments earlier, I’d received a comment from someone letting me know I’m a “jackass” because I don’t like these:
Yes, it’s true, I don’t like them. And I know it’s a controversial thing to say, but I? Totally wouldn’t wear those. If this be the test of jackassery, then I stand fairly accused. Isn’t it inspiring, though, to know that even the kind of jackass who wouldn’t drape cigarette butts from her ears (!) can go on to be successful, and, indeed, to live a normal life? I think so. Also, if you’ve ever wanted to know who IS a jackass in life, and who ISN’T one, you now have this handy test: the jackasses are the ones who DON’T have used cigarettes hanging from them. Got it? Good.
(Just to be clear, I’m being facetious above. I actually don’t give a rats jackasses ass about these kind of comments – I just think they’re funny.)
So anyway, yes, The Fashion Police! I don’t know if anyone here reads it, but if you do, and you voted for it, a huge thank you: that little button is better than bacon and eggs any day*.
(*Bacon and eggs ARE pretty tasty, though. Hmmm, I’m hungry.)
Amber
Hi, I'm Amber. If you enjoyed this post, please consider following me on Twitter or Facebook. Or even both, if you're feeling particularly daring...
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