Slightly against my better judgement, but because several of you asked to see it:

I decided to keep it in the end, after my mum showed me how to tie the neck properly (I had been doing it totally wrong. Yes, I know. And I’m sure my mum thought her days of dressing me were over, but apparently not…) and assured me that I will need that extra bit of room in it for all of the many layers I tend to wear in winter. This was true, so the tags have been removed, and the coat is officially mine.

Also, Rubin got a haircut:

So, a few weeks ago I became ever so slightly obsessed with a coat. As soon as I laid eyes on it I was all, “That coat will be mine!”, so what I did was, I did NOTHING. And it sold out. Everywhere. I know because I, er, emailed the manufacturer to beg them ask them if they’d be getting any more of them in.

“No coat!” said the manufacturer. “Cannot have! Sucks to be you! Ner-ner-ner-ner!”

Clearly, it was just not meant to be, so I decided to forget all about the coat, but before I did, I decided to search eBay obsessively for it, praying as I did so. And I found it! Only, not really, because the coat I found was one size bigger than the size I usually take.

“Will not buy,” I told myself firmly. “Stupid to even look at coat which will be too big. That way heartache lies. Will not even add to Watch List, so cannot be tempted!”

So I added The Coat to my Watch List.

A few days later, I checked up on it and lo! The Coat had now been bid up to an astronomical price – one that was, in fact, higher than it had sold for in the store. And sure, the coat was brand new with tags, but even so! Even so, people!

“Stupid!” I said smugly. “Idiots, bidding up Coat to crazy high price! Glad I’m having no part in that! Forgetting all about it now. Right now. Want, though!”

So I continued to watch the coat like a stalker.

“Buy coat,” said Terry. “I will give you difference between retail price and crazy inflated eBay price,” said Terry. “Then you will shut up about coat, OK?”

“Nooo!” said I. “Stupid to involve husband in buying of overpriced coat which, although crazy expensive is also investment, really. And actually, not that expensive, when you come to think of it. In fact, is still way less than most people pay for coats every day! OMG, is bargain!”

So, the coat arrived today. And yeah, it’s too big.  And kind of completely different from how I was expecting it to look. I was thinking I could pad it out with jumpers, though, maybe carry Rubin around inside it in manner of kangaroo. Or I could just re-sell it. One thing is for sure, though: I am totally banning myself from buying things online now, because if I do decide to sell The Coat, it will be the eleventy-first thing I’ve had to return this week month alone on account of it not fitting right, and that? Is seriously starting to get on my nerves. I mean, I seem to spend all of my time trailing to the post office and I hate it at the post office.

[photo removed because I realised it's a full moon tonight and my skin is too thin to post photos of myself on the internet when there's a full moon - d'oh!]

Oh, and the “cautionary tale” referenced in the title? Avoid the internet when buying your clothes. Seriously.

Hey, fellow UK residents, remember “summer”? It was this hot, sunny thing we used to get, long, long ago? No? Not ringing a bell? I think I can just about remember it if I try really hard, but the memories are fading. Actually, I’m pretty sure that at some point in the future, when we talk to kids born in the UK in the 21st century about “summer”, they’ll just laugh at us and call us rude names, because it’ll totally sound like we’re remembering some ancient, possibly mythical thing. Like unicorns, maybe. Or the black Michael Jackson.

Which sucks, really.

Anyway, last week, I started receiving press releases telling me that now that summer is almost over, it’s time for me to start thinking about Halloween and – oh God – Christmas. Christmas. And I REFUSE to start thinking about these things. I WILL NOT, and they can’t make me. But I will indulge the senders of these doom-laden press releases (“NEWS FLASH: TIME MOVES ON! WHOOO, SCARY!”) by buying myself some new coats for Autumn. Just, you know, to be prepared, and not AT ALL because I’m a shopaholic who just can’t seem to stop herself, seriously.

(Yeah, this is another entry about my clothes, by the way. Sorry about that. I AM a fashion blogger, though, so I guess it is to be expected…)

In preparation for the approaching Autumn (BOO! HISS!) I have bought, not one, but two new coats. Which makes me happy. Not as happy as it would make me if someone figured out a way to reverse time and make it so that summer actually happened this year, but happy none the less. Here is the first one, which – shockhorror! – is not black:

Obviously, with this coat – in fact, with both of them – I’m going to have to either pretend we live in a warmer climate than we actually do, or just accept that it’ll be too cold to wear it without multiple layers underneath by mid-October. But look! Swirly skirt!

Here is the second coat, which IS black. Because I cannot seem to stop myself buying this stuff.

The photos don’t do this coat justice at all, because it’s too dark to see the details… Anyway, it’s a rainproof material, and it has these cute little puffy shoulders and a big stand up collar, which I like, because it makes me feel a bit like Elizabeth I, and I’m all about the drama. (“No!” I hear you exclaim in amazement…)

Even when I tied my hair back in a crappy pony tail and adopted a “ready for my close-up, Mr De Mille” pose, I still couldn’t quite capture it, but hey:

Clearly, this year’s theme is big, swishy skirts with pockets cut into the seams, and standy-up collars. Which is fun, you know, but not nearly as much fun as SUMMER would have been. I miss it. I miss it so, so much. Today, when I was out mowing the lawn (fun factor: 0) I realised we haven’t had our wooden picnic table and chairs, which we got for our wedding, out AT ALL this year. Last year we got it out once, but it rained that day, so it doesn’t really count. And then it rained for the next two months. Annoying!

At least I’m prepared on the coat front, though. Whew!