I’ve been tagged multiple times now on the “25 Random Things About Me” meme that’s been doing the rounds on Facebook lately, and so far I haven’t actually done it because, well, “over-sharing” is my middle name, and seriously, what else could I possibly tell you that you didn’t already know?

Oh. Yeah. Stuff about leggings and makeup, obviously. Of course.  So, anyway, you asked for it (well, you did if you tagged me on Facebook), so here it is: 25 Random Things About Me That Are Even More Random Than The Other Random Things I Have Written About in the Past:

1. I attach a ridiculous amount of sentimental value to inanimate objects. For this reason, I will probably never sell my car.

2.Also for this reason, I have a number of boxes in my house filled with mementos from holidays and other good times.

3. I have no idea what some of them are supposed to represent now.

4. Strangely, though, I am ruthless about clothes and the very second I start to go off something, I will want to get rid of it and free up the space for something else.

5. Except for all those bags of clothes in the attic. Clearly I’m not quite ready to give those up yet.

6. I get very depressed about birthdays (mine) and have done since I was about 15 years old.

7. I own a pair of shiny leggings.

8. No, I have never worn them.

9. I do sometimes wear normal leggings, though, and I don’t really care what you think about that, so there!

10. I am not in any way a foodie, and if I lived alone I would live off things like toast and cereal quite happily. Especially if the toast had beans on it.

11. When I was young, I wanted to be a singer when I grew up.

12. Which was a bit weird, because I am almost completely tone deaf.

13. In primary school, I went so far as to enter a talent contest, in which me and a friend sang “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”.

14. We did not win.

15.  I do not have a favourite film, book or song and never know what to say when people ask me to name those things. Which actually happens much more often than you’d think.

16. Without makeup, I look like a completely different person.

17. And also like a very ill person apparently – on the couple of occasions I turned up at work without makeup, my bosses have always tried to send me home because I look so “ill”.

18. When people see me in flat shoes/bare feet for the first time, they can never quite get over how short I am. I’m 5’3”, but am rarely seen without heels.

19. When people first meet me, they almost always point out that my name is Amber and I ALSO have “amber” coloured hair. They seem to think this is new information they’re giving me, and that I will be as amazed as they are by it.

20. No, I was not named after my hair colour. Which is generally the second thing people say to me.

21. Sometimes I have to talk myself out of getting another puppy.

22. Or a kitten, even.

23. I have applied for the Green Card Lottery (to be able to live and work in the USA) twice now.

24. I never did have much luck with lotteries, though.

25. I totally can’t think of a number 25. My bad.

I’m not going to tag anyone, but feel free to consider yourself tagged if you really want to do this too!

When Caroline, of Second Hand Shopper fame, nominated me for an Honest Blogger Award, requiring me to list ten honest things about myself, my first thought was, “Christ, is there anything I haven’t yet shared with the Internet?!” My tendency to over-share means that I have already revealed such fascinating stories as “that one time my granny’s dog farted so loudly he terrified himself,” and really, where do you go after that, I ask you?

So at first I wasn’t sure what I would possibly find to tell you about, but then I remembered that nothing is impossible when you have wine on your side, so I poured myself a large one and the following is what I came up with. I’m pretty sure I’ve already shared at least two of these before but hey, don’t blame me, blame my good friend, Lord Pinot of Grigio for that…

Ten Honest Things About Me. That don’t necessarily involve dogs farting.

1. I am totally maths phobic. Like, totally. I count on my fingers and don’t know my times tables (other than the 5 and 10, obviously, because d’uh, everyone knows those, even me.) One of my worst nightmares involves the use of the phrase “If one train leaves the station at 11am, travelling at 65mph….” and if ever I have to deal with numbers I freeze like a rabbit in the headlights and start trembling. So yeah, I really hate maths. Luckily this hasn’t had too much of an impact on my life to date, because so far no one has ever presented me with a triangle and required me to tell them the length of one of its sides, on pain of death. If that ever does happen, though, I’m SO dead…

2. I have trouble telling my left from my right. I mean, I DO know the difference, but if someone tells me to turn right, say, or to raise my left hand in the air, like I just don’t care, I will have to quickly pretend to be picking up a pen (I will do this surreptitiously, obviously. Like, I will put my hand behind my back and do it, I won’t just start picking up pretend pens out of thin air) to “remind” myself which hand is my right. I’m sure I’ve told you this before, but I guess you just have NO EXCUSE for ever forgetting it now, do you?

3. When I describe myself as a hypochondriac? I’m actually not joking.

4. I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I will probably never write the novel I’ve wanted to write since I was a child. Some people “have books in them” – I’m starting to realise I probably only have blogs in me. Which is a pretty weird sentence to type, really.

5. I sometimes can’t remember what age I am. I have to think about it for a few seconds…

6. When I don’t get any comments on my posts, it makes me horribly insecure. I have considered deleting this blog several times this year because I was hardly getting any comments and came to the conclusion that there was no point in continuing if people weren’t reading. The fact that so many of the bloggers I read myself are able to generate 45 comments just by stating what they ate for breakfast or posting a photo of their kid just reinforces this feeling of inadequacy. High school, much?
Edited to Add: I honestly didn’t write this so that people would feel guilty and leave comments telling me not to delete the blog. I am not thinking of deleting the blog. This point refers to other times during the past year when the comments dried up and I felt like no one was reading. But I don’t feel like that now, so the blog isn’t going anywhere!

7. Speaking of high school: I was the weird one no one would talk to. I was always dressed funny, got good grades (except in maths, natch) and read books for pleasure. Everyone hated me. Point 6 suddenly makes a lot more sense now, no?

8. Going back to the blogging thing: I hate it when I click a link onto someone’s blog and it’s called something like, “Little Johnny’s Mom” or “Mom of Four” or “I’m a Mom Now So I’ve Totally Lost My Own Identity and Can Only Refer to Myself as ‘So-and-So’s Mom’!” Because, you know, I am totally in a position to judge other people’s blogs, being so popular myself and all….

9. Despite writing about fashion and beauty for a living, I look as rough as hell most of the time, and wear jeans every single day in life.

10. If I was American, I would vote for Obama, no question. I find this to be the scariest photo I’ve ever seen in my life, and not just because of my phobia of crustaceans:

Three Scary Monsters

Every time I see it, I imagine that she wrestled the bear and crab to death. You gotta fear someone like that, you know? Or maybe the crab is one of her minions, ready to do her bidding? Maybe this is a vision of the world if the Republicans win the election? OK, now I’m really freaking myself out here…

I’m supposed to tag lots of people now and make them do this too, but seriously, the picture of the crab is disturbing me to the point where I wish I hadn’t uploaded it now because I will totally have nightmares tonight, and will not be able to look at my blog again until this drops off the front page. So if you have a blog, consider yourself tagged…