Tagged with red

Stuff. In the form of a list.

Because I am lazy:

1. I still haven’t found The Dress. This is much to the distress of Terry, because it seems that I just can’t stop talking about it. I mean, I thought I’d maybe be OVER IT by now. But no. The loss of my preshus dress is as fresh and as painful as it was on that dreadful day that I realised it was gone. GOD.

2. I have, however, bought another dress. It didn’t really make me feel better, to be honest. I mean, it’s a nice dress and all, but it’s JUST NOT THE SAME.

3. See, still can’t stop talking about it.

4. On a positive note, I haven’t lost or broken anything else this week. Not that I know of, anyway. I DID think I’d lost Ted this morning when I was making the bed, but it turned out he was just hiding under a pile of Terry’s clothes. Here’s what he was wearing:

ted

I just hope Nike are paying him well, is all I can say.

5. When I was coming out of the gym yesterday, SLEET started falling out of the sky. And, OK, it only lasted for a few minutes, and then we were back to brilliant sunshine (then torrential rain. Then brilliant sunshine. Then thunder. Then torrential rain. Then brilliant… oh, you get the picture.), but still, SLEET. Sleet.

6. Because of the whole non-stop-rain thing, my lawn hasn’t been mown for three weeks now, and has consequently grown into a small jungle. I’m actually afraid to let Rubin out there in case he never finds his way back. (Thought: could The Dress be in the Jungle Garden?) Weirdly, though, all of our neighbours still have perfectly manicured lawns. HOW DO THEY DO IT? Are they mowing their lawns during the middle of the night or something? No, really, how?

7. Number 6? That right there tells you why updates have been few and far between this week, because THAT’S how interesting my life has been, really.

8. At least Rubin has been helping me with the blogging, though:

rubin-blog

Amber

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TED

Ted_2

Rubin writes:

This is Ted. Now, I know what yoos are thinkin’. Yoos are all, “Great bear, Rubinman – orange is SO your colour!” The thing is, though, Ted is NOT a great bear. In fact, me and Ted, we don’t talk. We’re just not down with each other. Also: he’s totally mental.

Ted, you see, is Amber’s bear. Yes, Amber has a bear. I know! It’s like, how old is she, four? Actually, Amber is WAY old, and so is Ted. This makes Ted a bit of an ass, really, because he totally thinks he’s, like, IN CHARGE of all the toys in the house, you know? Also, he thinks he’s in charge of me, and that right there shows you how totally mental Ted is because NO ONE IS THE BOSS OF THE RUBINMAN.

Ted thinks he is, though. He’s been alive for as long as Amber, and Amber’s been alive since FOREVER, so he’s all, “Respect your elders, young Rubin me lad, waffle, waffle, waffle.” Idiot. I don’t even know why Amber has him, I really don’t, because it’s like, what does she DO with him? I haven’t ONCE seen Amber pick Ted up in her teeth and throw him around the room by the scruff of his neck, and that’s totally what I’d do with him. Then I’d throw him out the house and tell him to never show his sorry orange ass round here again. And he would listen because he would be scared of me.

Let this be a warning to all yoos orange-ass bears out there. For real.

RUBIN

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