Unlike me, Terry does not feel compelled to write down every single thing that ever happens to him. (I guess that’s what he has me for, mind you.) When we go on holiday, however, he does like to record our movements, in a little journal I bought him after his operation, thinking he might like to write down some of the deep and important thoughts he was having at the time. He did that, and then he moved on to recording every time I dropped something on my foot or tripped over the dog or whatever, so that particular gift worked out well, I thought. Anyway, in lieu of the holiday wrap-up post I was intending to write when we got back from Tenerife a few weeks ago, but abandoned in favour of lying on the couch eating as much food as I could fit into my mouth, I now present to you – with his permission, of course – some excepts from Terry’s holiday journal. (And, in a neat little role reversal, while the words in this post are Terry’s, the images are mostly mine, other than the ones I’m actually in, obviously.)

Over to Terry…

December 7th, 2010

Got up at 5am and tried to call airline to make sure flight was still on. They were closed. Got onto M8. It was like a disaster movie. Got to Glasgow at 7am, but flight delayed until 2.30pm. Sat on runway for 90 mins waiting on de-icer. Arrived at Tenerife at dusk. Amber was scared on road, freaked out. Terry freaked out right back at ya. Got room 1007. Changed it as it looked onto car park. Terry is Amber’s hero. Changed to room 303. Went to one of our old favourite haunts for something to eat/drink. 

Ways Amber hurt herself: stubbed toe twice; hit leg on door; cut finger on suitcase; hit head on sink

December 8th, 2010

Got up, put on shades, went outside – very bright! Breakfast buffet was very good – dozens of types of bread, lots of different egg dishes, fruit, fresh fruit juices and bananas for the monkey park, which we went to right after breakfast.

Went to beach for a walk - sun was lovely and warm – bought Amber shoes and a sailor’s top. Went to dinner at the hotel, which was much better than expected. It was raining when we went in but had stopped by the time we were finished, so we walked over to the 5 star sister hotel next door, whose facilities we’re allowed to use, and had a drink in their bar. Managed to convince Amber that the English translation of the chorus of one of the songs the band was playing was “My left thigh hurts”. She believed me. (Note from Amber: this is totally untrue!) The next singer sung in German, which prompted a brief panic from Amber, who informed me she was having trouble understanding him – lolzers!

Ways Amber hurt herself: sprayed water in her face while turning on shower; punched drawer while trying to remove plug adaptor from hairdryer; burnt herself on hotplate at dinner.

Favourite photo so far:

December 9th, 2010

Buffet breakfast again, then we went for a super-long walk along the coast. We sat watching the sea at dozens of viewpoints, basically taking any opportunity to soak up the amazing warm sun . Along the way we saw sprays of water coming from caves under the cliffs:

We also saw another natural wonder about a mile along the coast:

TMI!

Went to Mango. The toilets in the mall had opaque glass doors so people can see you through them. The ladies had a queue so Amber had to go with everyone watching. Lolzers!

Went to dinner in the hotel again. People keep staring at Amber, so we have developed a code word so that we can point out the starers to each other. The code word is secret, though, so you can never know it just in case we catch you staring one day. (Amber’s note: I have no idea who he was addressing this to…) Annoying guy one table away is trying to perfect the art of making trumpet noises with his nose.Went out for drinks after dinner. Amber tried to befriend a cat at the bar, but it liked me better and decided to share my seat:

The staff at the cafe seemed pleasantly surprised the cat had found love. It was short lived, though – after about twenty minutes it rained and the cat left me. Not sure I will ever get over it, but that night will forever be warm in my heart.

Amber update: opened cupboard door, slamming it into her foot. Did a little dance, something like a Morris dancer, shouting “OW! OW! OW!” Amazing!

December 10th, 2010

Left the hotel at 10:30 and went for a trip to the Masca Valley. Lots of roadworks because of landslides and the roads down to the valley were the craziest I have ever seen – bad vertigo a lot of the time, which made both Amber and I a little nauseous.

On the way there, Amber declared a Thumb War:

(Amber’s note: we’ve no idea what’s actually going on in this photo. When we looked back at it that night, “Thumb War” was our best guess…)

Amber didn’t hurt herself today: amazing!

(Amber’s note: if you’re particularly bored, there are a few more photos from Masca over at Shoeperwoman today…)

December 11th, 2010

Breakfast in the hotel again, yum. Amber had a screw loose on the way back to our room. Nothing unusual there except this time it was on the leg of her sunglasses. The leg fell off and Amber freaked the hell out, then got excited thinking she would have to buy new ones. Unfortunately for her, I managed to find an optician’s and got them repaired. Sorry, Amber.

December 12th, 2010

The 10th anniversary of our relationship. Going out for dinner tonight – looking forward to it. I have got something special for Amber which I will give to her at dinner. By the time she reads this diary entry she will know what it is!

Spent the day at the pool. VERY warm again. Just finished reading a book about 13 of the biggest mysteries of the universe. Enjoyed it. Amber is reading a book about a mysterious house, just for a change. (Amber’s note: yes, I am obsessed with stories about creepy old houses which harbour devastating secrets…)

Stayed in the sun for as long as we could, then came back to the hotel to read some more. Just watching the most amazing sunset yet, while Amber rams herself in the shoulder with her hairbrush. That’s the first time she’s hurt herself in two days!

December 13th 2010

Sunny again, OMFG! Went to the beach. Still full from dinner last night. Note to self, no more big bowls of pasta. I headbutted a beach umbrella today. Not to be outdone, Amber headbutted her sun-lounger.

It was a beautiful starry night, so after dinner and cocktails we went back to our balcony to relax with a cup of coffee. Amber and I saw our first shared shooting star. Until yesterday, Amber hadn’t even seen one, but tonight we saw five. They are so fleeting but so worth seeing.

*Amber just punched the cupboard!*

(Amber’s note: speaking of the cupboard, here’s a sneaky photo Terry took of my side of it:

Did I ever mention I like stripes?)

(Dress, Zara; shoes, eBay)

Yes, yes, I know: I’ve worn my hair in exactly the same way almost every day since I’ve been here. In fact, they’ve stopped calling me “Sailor Amber” and are now calling me “Girl With Only One Hairstyle”. It’s one part laziness and one part Holiday Hair, in which the sunshine, different water and travel hairdryer all combine to turn my hair into one lanky and yet frizzy mess: awesome!

As the last few days of the holiday approach, I’ve started to worry, not only about the flight home itself, but about the possibility that th flight home might not happen without another 18-hour delay or something: the news this morning carries the usual stories of airport closures and general chaos back home due to the OMGSNOW. One day we’ll get to take a trip without airport stress at either end of it. One day.

Meanwhile, we can’t get over how lucky we are to be enjoying such beautiful weather still. I think the UK must somehow be sucking up all of the bad weather in the universe right now. Good for us, of course, but kind of sucky for everyone at home.

(Me speaking to my mum on the phone: she was telling me all about the latest snowfall, and how they’ve only seen Royal Fail twice in the past three weeks or something – and I really wish I was exaggerating about that. On the plus side, apparently my mum has been able to wear her Russian hat, and Rubin is finding plenty of opportunities to wear his coat, so every snow cloud, silver lining, and all that.)

And now my sunlounger awaits. See you all tomorrow!

(Dress, PinUp Couture; Shoes, River Island)

Well, the wonderful weather we’ve been having broke dramatically last night, with a storm which whipped up just as we took these photos, thus explaining my more-than-usually-gormless expression, plus the fact that I look like I’m wearing a huge petticoat under my dress (I’m not, it’s just the wind. Even I wouldn’t bring a tulle petticoat on holiday with me. Or not very often, anyway.).

Of course, to a sailor such as myself, a rainstorm is nothing, and luckily for us, the sun came back out this morning. We’re hearing disturbing reports from home, though, about a new BIG FREEZE and THE END OF THE WORLD etc, etc, so no complaints here about a bit of rain, nosiree. If it’s true that Royal Fail STILL haven’t managed to get their act together and deliver the parcels I ordered in NOVEMBER, however, there will probably be complaining. Probably quite a bit of it, it’s only fair to warn you.

For now, though, it’s still hot and sunny, and that’s more than good enough for us…

(Dress, Mango; Shoes, eBay)

OK, so I may have banned any more Zara purchases, but no one said anything about Mango, did they?

Yesterday we went for a walk around town (in absolutely glorious, hot sunshine, I might add), and our route happened to take us past one of the many Mango stores they have on this island. This dress was in the window, and as there just so happened to be a sparkly midi-dress shaped hole in my life at the time, well, it would’ve been rude not to have at least tried it on, wouldn’t it? As you can see, I did s little bit more than just “trying on”, but sadly the photos just don’t do this dress justice: it’s a lovely brown and gold colour, with sparkly thread woven through it, and it’s in a lovely thick wool (with sleeves!) which, as well as being ideal for home, is also perfect for the chilly evenings out here. Score. No more Mango now either, though. In fact, no more shopping AT ALL, or they’ll never let me back onto the plane…

(Um, I’m only really wearing dresses in the evening at the moment, hence all of the photos of me on the balcony at night. I promise we ARE doing other things too, it’s just that I don’t have time to tell you about them right now, so I’m concentrating on the dresses!)

Anyway, as I mentioned yesterday, my Internet access is pretty limited, so I’m going to have to cut this one short, too. Suffice to say, we’re having a fantastic time, with better weather than we’d even dared to hope for (in fact, we can’t seem to stop looking at each other and saying, “Look, sunshine! Isn’t this amazing!”) Mind you, after the weather we left behind, it could honestly rain for a fortnight and I’d STILL think we got a pretty good deal…

(Oh, and although I forgot to bring any jewellery and hardly any accessories with me, I DID bring some gold nail polish, which matched my dress perfectly. Little things like this make me happy…)

(Dress: Topshop; Shoes: Zara)

Well, as you can tell from the fact that I’m updating here, we did finally make it to Tenerife, albeit with a bit of a delay and a whole lot of chaos at the airport. The internet access in our hotel, unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, depending on your perspective) isn’t great, so I’m just going to keep these Dressember posts brief, and will fill you all in on the holiday stuff when I get home. Or, you know, maybe not.

Anyway! I did actually wear a dress on day 7 (or rather, night 7), but I couldn’t be bothered taking any photos, so you rejoin my Dressember challenge on Day 8, on which I wore trousers during the day, but changed into this dress for dinner. First, though: MONKEYS!

Two monkeys

After visiting our monkey friends (I swear to Gaga they remembered us from last time. Or maybe they were just being polite.) we visited Zara.

I may have shopped a bit. Terry may have been persuaded that I urgently needed a pair of peep toes. I may have worn them that very night.

(And by “may”, I mean, “I totally DID.”)

So, as you can see, I started the day in a stripey sweater, which I removed when it got hot, to reveal a stripey tank top. Then in the evening I got changed into a stripey dress. And that’s why they call me Sailor Amber. Or sometimes just That Stripey Freak. Hey, guess what print I like?

No more Zara for the rest of the holiday. I mean it.

(P.S. It was hot and sunny here today. It was like being in paradise…)