There are lots of things in life that make me angry.

Some of them are big things. School shootings. Homophobia. Donald Trump. You get the picture, I’m sure.

Some of them, though, are pretty small things, really. Like, they’re the kind of thing that, if you ever dare complain about them, you just know some sanctimonious person is going to instantly pop up and be all, “Oh, but you CAAAAAAN’T complain about THAAAAAT, Amber! Don’t you know there are children dying in Africa, and here you are, complaining about the fact that every time you try to take the foil lid off a pot of yogurt, it totally splatters all over you? HOW VERY DARE YOU.”

(Sanctimonious people are one of the things that make me irrationally angry, just FYI.)

(Also, those foil lids on yogurt pots are freaking ANNOYING, and you know it.)

The thing is, though, sometimes complaining is fun. Well it IS, isn’t it? And, as the complex human beings we are, we all know it’s possible to be REALLY FREAKING ANNOYED by something, while simultaneously understanding that this reaction is not completely rational, and that there are much worse things that could happen.

So, let it be known that YES, I am aware that there are much more important things in the world to complain about. I know that. Today, though, I’m going to complain about THESE things: because these are the little inconsequential things that, nevertheless, annoy the hell out of me…

(Having to add lengthy caveats to my posts just so you all know they’re supposed to be lighthearted, and that I’m not ACTUALLY crying over my spilt yogurt over here is another one of the things that makes me irrationally angry. But, moving on…)things that annoy me

6 Little Things That Make Me Irrationally Angry:

01.

When you click on a link to something that sounds right up your street, but when it opens, it turns out to be a video or a podcast rather than a blog post.

WAAAAH! How annoying is THAT? Because I don’t WANT to watch a video or listen to a podcast! I just want to find out how to do this particular hairstyle your title promised to show me, and now I’m going to have to go and find my earbuds, and then sit through an advert for haemorrhoid cream, plus 20 minutes of you explaining what hairbrush you use, and exactly how you use it first, and OH THE HUMANITY, SERIOUSLY.

(The fact that I know you added that 20-minute explanation because, if you didn’t, you’d just get 101 comments from people going, “BUT WHAT BRUSH DO YOU USE?” also makes me irrationally angry, needless to say…)

02.

Emptying the dishwasher

This one is particularly irrational and first-world-problem-ish of me, because, hey! Some people don’t even HAVE a dishwasher to empty! SOME people, in fact, have to carry their dirty dishes 7 miles to the nearest river to clean them, and also, they don’t even HAVE any dirty dishes to clean, because they just have to eat with their hands. And the river is polluted, anyway. And they don’t even HAVE any hands. TRUTH.

I, however, DO have a dishwasher, and because I’m a spoiled white girl, I’m just going to go ahead and admit that sometimes, when the dishwasher beeps to let me know its finished its cycle, I think to myself, “Hmm, I COULD go and spend 10 minutes putting the dishes away, like a responsible adult … OR I could just take the dishes and SMASH THEM INTO A MILLION PIECES INSTEAD.” Because hi, I’m Amber, and I absolutely HATE unloading the dishwasher. I don’t even know why. I mean, it takes FIVE FREAKING MINUTES. And it’s SO much easier than having to wash and dry the dishes by hand! Even so, every time I have to do it, I want to scream and scream until I’m SICK, basically.

(Er, I DON’T, obviously. But I WANT to.)

03.

That stupid plastic wrap that comes on eyeliner pencils

I mean, honestly, I’m just grateful I have ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD to sit and pick that stuff off with my fingernails, really. Oh no, wait…

04.

When you’re in a restaurant, and the person you’re with is all, “Let’s just share a starter!”

But but but… I don’t WANT to share a starter! I want my OWN starter, that I can eat all by myself, without worrying that I’ve had more than my share, or that I’ve just taken the piece YOU wanted. But I’m worried you’ll judge me if I go ahead and say that, though, so, instead, I’m just going to go along with your crazy, starter-sharing scheme, and, yup, looks like I AM going to be spending the next 20 minutes worrying that I’m eating more than my share! And then I’m going to go to the bathroom and EAT MY OWN ARM, because THIS IS HOW HANGRY YOU’VE MADE ME.

(And no, I don’t want to taste your main course either, or let you taste mine: get your own food people, seriously.)

(Unless you ordered chips, in which case hand them over and stop being so stingy, GOD.)

(Yes, I could just say “no” to the starter thing, I know. But saying yes and then complaining on the internet is WAY more fun, isn’t it?)

05.

When women have a conversation on Facebook, and it goes something like this:

WOMAN 1: Hi hunni, how’s you? x

WOMAN 2: I’m good, hunni, you? x

W1: I’m good too hunni. You coming out tonight? x

W2 : Yeah, hunni, I am! x

And so on and so forth, with the “hunni” and the little x’s at the end of every exchange. (I mean, seriously: if you were having this conversation in real life, would you lean forward and give the other person a little kiss every time you stopped to draw breath? Well, WHY ARE YOU DOING IT ON THE INTERNET, THEN?) Also, I say “women”, because, the fact is, MEN NEVER DO THIS.  Last week, Terry ordered a sweater for me from a website obviously aimed at women who use the word “hunni” a lot, because all of the dispatch and order notifications addressed him as “hunni”, and then, a couple of days later, he got a marketing email from them with the title, “Sun’s out, huns out!” He was just like, “MEN DON’T SPEAK TO EACH OTHER LIKE THIS.”

But many  women do. And it makes me feel irrationally annoyed.

Finally:

06.

When people write “draws” instead of “drawers”

Look, I know they sound the same in some accents, but THEY ARE NOT THE SAME, DAMMIT. NOT. THE. SAME.

Whew. That felt gooooood.

Over to you, then: what kind of little things make YOU irrationally angry? (And please don’t say, “When bloggers make list of stupid stuff that annoys them”- thank you.)

35 Comments
  1. No 6 all the way! So annoying! I once tried to explain to a colleague that a document needed to say drawers not draws because they weren’t the same thing and it took a Google search for her to even consider that she might be using draws incorrectly

  2. This was such a funny post! I get irrationally angry at the most ridiculous things. For me, it’s people who eat/breathe loudly, it actually makes me want to fly into a rage!

  3. Currently at work and there is someone sitting behind me who has spent the last 5 minutes ripping large wads of paper at regular, 45 second intervals. I am repressing my inner She-Hulk. There are confidential paper disposal units all around the office FOR THIS IS EXACT REASON. THERE IS NO NEED FOR ALL THE SHREDDING. STOP IT PLEASE. MY EARS ARE BLEEDING.

    1. Oh no! In my last office job, I sat opposite someone who chewed gum all day, with her mouth open – I can’t even explain the level of rage 🤬

  4. So much agreement with No. 2! It is possible I had children just so I could pass this job off onto them. I managed to convince them when they were small that it was fun to empty the dishwasher. They are now way too old to believe that but it is ingrained in them that it is their job. I still have to do it occasionally but it makes me irrationally happy when I can walk out of the kitchen knowing someone else is going to empty that dishwasher.

    1. Oh, yes, this is why we have children! To unload the dishwasher, shovel the walks, mow the lawn. I am actually dreading the day they move out because it will be back on my shoulders once again!!!

  5. #1 and #3 especially hit home for me. It INFURIATES me when I’m really interested in a topic so I click on it, only to find a video waiting for me instead of AN ACTUAL ARTICLE. Like you said, who wants to waste time finding earbuds, plugging them in, etc. Nothing is worth that much time. I always just say, “Never mind!” and click out of it. IF I WANTED TO WATCH A VIDEO, I’D SEARCH FOR A VIDEO. Okay, rant over. 😉

  6. Very funny! And I can relate. My pet peeve has to do with my neighbors who are largely Chinese, Japanese and Korean. I enjoy living with them for the most part except when their relatives from the old country come to visit. Apparently there are no traffic rules where they come from. For example I’ve seen them turn right from the left hand lane and stop in the middle of the street for no apparent reason! Stop signs are only a SUGESTION for them as is the speed limit. Our local police force is off dealing with more important matters so in the mean time my car horn can be heard echoing through the neighborhood…

  7. Even worse that the food sharing is the cheque sharing. I had NO drink and a $12 bowl of soup while the other couple guzzled about $250 worth of wine and prime rib but you think IM the stingy one when I dont want to just split the bill in half because ITS EEEAAASIER….Theres a calculator ap on your phone. Its not rocket science. UGH!

    1. Exactly the same thing! Then they get grumpy that they actually have to work it out and pay their actual share. Though on occasion I’ve been lucky and one of them has decided it’s easier to pay for me and just split the bill between them (very, very rarely though…)

  8. Loved it! Regarding the last one: It irritates me A LOT when people write apart of and mean a part of … I mean… hello? English isn’t even my first language and I sure know the difference (AND THAT THERE IS IN FACT A DIFFERENCE!) lol

  9. Continuing in the same vein as no. 6, people who say “crutch” when they mean “crotch” drive me ba-na-nas. Are you physically* leaning on it for support???

    (* Felt the need to make the physical vs emotional distinction here because, you know, some people… 🤷‍♀️)

  10. The drawers thing bugs me too – how hard is it? Other spelling errors annoy me too, as do misuse of apostrophes, but it is speech abnormalities that bug me most, eg the very bizarre speech patterns that are increasingly being used by news reporters. Robert Preston is one of the worst – I find it so distracting that I can’t focus on the content or the semantics.

  11. The «hunni” and xx thing seems to be a UK thing. I noticed it when I started studying in the uk. Me and my other Norwegian friend were talking one day and asked “what’s whit all the Xes in every sentence? Why do they keep doing this?”

  12. Ha! My husband can’t understand the difference between drawers and draws. I get that it’s an accent thing but he can’t even HEAR the difference when I say the two words… and how can he have got to 40+ without ever seeing ‘chest of drawers’ written down?! And then there’s ‘I sawR it’, ‘drawRing’ and the converse of thinking that ‘Cinderella’ rhymes with ‘cellar’. (Me: ‘if you can’t say the letter ‘r’ where you’re supposed to, why put it in where you don’t even need it?!?!?’ My husband: ‘?’) When Max gets big enough, you’ll find out that people who make children’s books in London think that everyone speaks exactly as they do and so many of the rhymes are NOT RHYMES. They are just WRONG.

    1. This is what confuses me, too – I mean, I get why people with certain accents say it like that, but how can they go through their entire lives without ever seeing it written down and thinking, “Wait, what is this ‘drawer’ word?!” HOW?!

  13. No. 5. And not only on facebook, also on Twitter and, most annoying, on my blog aimed at me. I am not your “hunnies”, “luv” or “sweetie”. I am a grown woman with a real job and a real life and you are probably half my age (and that annoys me too!)

  14. I have to confess to being someone that always puts kisses at the end of all my messages, and also over analyse responses without kisses like OMG THEY DIDN’T PUT KISSES, DOES THIS MEAN THEY DON’T LOVE ME ANYMORE?? Only with people I know, I promise! But I would never use the term hunni. If I was going to call someone honey I’d at least spell it right! The term LOL used to make me want to scratch my eyes out for no reason, especially when phrased, ‘Ha ha, LOL’ as though you needed an acronym to explain that Ha Ha meant you were laughing…. I gave up in the end as it is obviously going to stick around as acceptable language it seems so I use it all the time now in a completely pretentious, ironic way ’cause I’m annoying like that…!

    1. Ha, I always put them at the end of messages to people who’ve done it first, for this very reason! And I use certain words ironically … right up to the point when I do it so often that it just becomes something I say. Which is why I’ve had to work really hard to eliminate the word “amazeballs” from my vocabulary 😳

  15. Number one all the way. I HATE watching videos – I don’t have the time and, if I’ve managed to sit down and have some peace and quiet to enjoy the internet, I don’t want to have to listen to somebody talking. I especially hate when people write a blog post which is all “blah blah blah here’s an interesting topic” above the fold, but the moment you scroll down to read their thoughts you find they’ve embedded a YouTube video – DON’T DO THAT TO ME, BLOGGERS! STOP!

    Kisses used as punctuation also irritates me – as you say, they wouldn’t end every sentence with a kiss in real life, would they?

    As for spelling errors, my pet peeves are “have a peak” and “go for a wonder”. Gaaaaaah!!!!!!!

  16. Erm – I offered my 9-year-old hard cash to empty the dishwasher just yesterday…and I got my son to empty the bin today. Both jobs I loathe. But hey, that’s why I have two children, right? Also, on the subject of draw/drawer the wrong spelling of lose/loose drives me up the wall.

  17. I get irritated when people write am for I’m, and also, have for I’ve. This is so common on twitter. And I absolutely hate it when people put letters together to make incorrect spellings in the name of shorthand

  18. I can relate to so much of what you say but what really makes my generally quiet easy going personality self combust is Costco. Why? Why?! Do people bring their entire family to have lunch off of the free samples and clog up the aisles with the enormous carts and extra bodies. I just want to get my shopping done. Costco is not a fun family outing!

  19. I am not sure why but unloading the dishwasher is my least favorite thing to do in the whole world. I prefer cleaning the entire kitchen and putting the dirty dishes in to taking 5-10 minutes of my time and putting the dishes away. Makes no sense Another thing that makes me irrationally angry is when people chew with their mouths open and smack their lips, the noise drives me up the wall. I also HATE the fact that aint is considered a word now and I tend to correct all people who say it. I don’t care how old you are.

    1. This is me exactly – I would much rather do something that took much longer, than unload the dishwasher. Why is it so mindbendingly awful?!

  20. 100% No3!! Why oh why do they make them so difficult to open?!
    And it used to be the same in the days of CDs and DVDs… have they no mercy?!

  21. I don’t consider this irrationally angry, but I HATE it when guys come into the shop where I’m serving and call me ‘honey’, ‘dear’ or ‘sweetie’. It takes all the self-control I possess not to slap them in the face or kick them in the crotch. Read my lips guys: I AM NOT YOUR SWEETIE, never have been, never will be, because you’re a dirty old man. The ones who tell you to smile or pat your hand don’t know how close to death they come.

    More irrationally, I can’t stand clamshell packaging – how are you seriously meant to open them without poking your eye out? And those tins with the ring pull tab. An aunt of mine actually sliced her finger open on one of them, cutting the tendon, and now I’m scared to death of them.

    On my list of ‘reasons to have kids or not’, I just added ‘can make them do chores’ in the pros side, ha ha!

  22. Haha great post, these low-key annoyances are the most fun to get worked up about. The one that comes to mind for me is for Amazon reviews (or similar) in the questions section when someone is like “is this product ” and random people respond “gee I don’t know I’ve never tried that” JUST STAY OUT OF IT THEN yeeeesh lol

    1. Oh God yes, I hate that too! And, on a similar note, quite often when I do a makeup review, say, I’ll get people commenting to say, “I don’t wear makeup, so I wouldn’t buy this,” and I’m just like, “Okaaaay… why are you reading and commenting on a post about it, then?!” 🤯

      1. haha that’s so ridiculous! Are there people out there that think the entire internet is directed personally at them? What a terrible and pointless burden to bear!

  23. Pahaha!! This made me laugh!! Especially unloading the dishwasher. I hate it. HATE IT!!! Almost to the point that — in my ‘dream kitchen’ — I’ve decided to do away with actual cupboards and I’m just going to have two dishwashers, side by side, instead. They will be filled up, then set to wash, and then we’ll use the clean dishes, direct from the dishwasher.

    Once dirty, they’ll go in the other one.

    Simple.

    I will never, ever have to empty another dishwasher, as long as I live.

    Also, on my list are people on eBay who ask if I’ve got a ‘Buy It Now’ price. FFS — NO. If I’d have wanted to sell on a ‘Buy It Now’, I would have set it from the get-go. Anyway! Thanks for making me laugh!! Have a good weekend xx

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