Just in case any of you were worried that my recent silence is a sign that the ghost which switches our TV on and knocks over our posters had taken more drastic action against Terry and I, I’m here to report that all is well. And, I mean, it’s not like there’s been any other spooky occurrences to suggest there’s a ghost in the house, maybe in the region of the front door, say:
(Um, please excuse the quality and shakiness of this video – I filmed it on my phone, late at night. I was also probably drunk.)
Seriously, he stood like this, staring intently at absolutely nothing, repeatedly that night. And no, there was nothing outside (that was visible to the human eye) and no mysterious sounds (that our human ears could pick up), so the question remains: WHAT DOES HE SEE? Is it dead people? And are they likely to try to posses us any time soon, I wonder?
Actually, there’s a small part of me right now that’s secretly wishing there WAS a ghost in the house, or that I could become possessed by a demon or something (Note: Not really. That’s not an invitation, o spirits of the netherworld! Begone from this house!). It would at least break the monotony, and give me something to write about here, wouldn’t it? Because here’s the thing, not that you particularly care: I haven’t bee quite lately because of ghostly presences in our home, but just because there is absolutely nothing to see here, folks, move along please. I have, of course, been continuing to blog elsewhere, because that’s what pays the bills, but actually, I think that’s part of the problem: I write about fashion at The Fashion Police, about shoes at Shoeperwoman and (occasionally) about makeup at Hey, Dollface! and it doesn’t really leave much left over to write about here.
Of course, this blog has always been that most awkward of genres: the personal journal. It’s supposed to just be about my life. But really, all that’s been happening in my life right now is that I write about fashion, shoes and makeup, and… that’s it. So things may be quiet around here for a while. Or, then again, they may not, because normally what happens is that I promise I won’t be blogging much, and then I suddenly discover that I have so! much! to! say! and you’re stuck with even MORE of me, instead.
Yes, folks, it’s the moment absolutely none of you have been waiting for: part two of the video of our California trip. Because, yes, our holiday videos come in different parts. Think of it as like the Halloween movies, only a little less scary. Only a little bit, though.
(Part 1 of this series, a.k.a. “San Francisco” is here, for those of you who are interested. Yes, mum and dad, I AM talking just to you now.)
Enjoy! And tell Terry he is AWESUM for putting this together!
And now I’m going to go and lock myself in my bedroom so I can cry over the fact that we are not there anymore…
The boulevards, the neon lights I’ve been in love since the first sight I wouldn’t change it if I could Welcome to Hollywood
~ Mitchell Musso, Welcome to Hollywood
P.S. On the subject of holidays, Lape posted an interview with me on her travel blog today – you can see it here! Thanks, Lape!
Because I just can’t seem to stop posting about my holiday right now, here’s a short video Terry made of our trip to San Francisco. Enjoy!
And it’s time to call in sick and pack your bags and bring the toothbrush Withdraw from that savings account, what’s savings for, time doesn’t wait and Hold the door, I’m coming, all that jazz Like I’m released from Alcatraz
Remember when I said I was done with eBay, for ever and ever and ever, or at least until the next pair of shoes came up that I OMGHADTOHAVE? Yeah, that didn’t work out. I mean, I did stop trying to sell stuff on eBay, because that was just a one-way ticket to Mad Town. I kept on buying, though, and for the most part, that worked out pretty well. I got some bargains. I got some things I’d wanted to buy at the time, but which had sold out. Ebay and I, we were cool.
Then came The Shoes.
(You knew this would be about shoes, didn’t you? Sorry.)
The Shoes are deserving of the capital letters I’ve given them here, because, oh, these shoes. They were by Carvela, and I’d wanted them as soon as they came out, which was about two years ago now. I couldn’t afford them, though, so I didn’t buy them, because as you all know, I am ALL about the being sensible. Yes I am. Shut up.
Then the shoes went on sale. I still didn’t buy them, because by then they were sold out in my size. Instead, I was forced to watch helplessly as my shoe-blogging friends all bought The Shoes and flaunted them right in my very face. The Shoes were even more beautiful in real life. I was sad.
Time passed. I want to be able to write “I forgot about The Shoes,” here, but the thing is: I didn’t. No, I kept on thinking about The Shoes, and how terrible it was that I had not been able to buy them. “One day,” I told myself, “I will find The Shoes on eBay, and the seller will have spelt “Carvela” wrong, so I will get them for a totally knock-down price, and all will be well with the world.” I didn’t really believe it, though. The Shoes were gone forever, and in my heart of hearts, I knew it.
Then last week?
Last week I found The Shoes on eBay. They were brand new. My size. Starting price of £25. No bids. OMFG!
The Shoes would be mine. I knew it. Except… unbenownst to me, I had a mortal enemy. This unknown enemy of mine, she also wanted the shoes. Well, I say that: I’m pretty sure she didn’t give a damn about The Shoes. She just wanted to, like, totally RUIN MY LIFE forever, and force me to walk barefoot. Because eBay gets you like that, doesn’t it? It’s more like, I don’t know, WAR, say, than shopping. And as soon as someone starts bidding on something I want, well, there’s only one way for that to end.
I turn to The Dark Side.
I take it personally, you see, the bidding-against-me. It feels like a personal afront. Especially when the person in question is bidding on a pair of shoes that I have already decided are mine, an entire TWO DAYS BEFORE THE END OF THE AUCTION.
Seriously, who does that? Who bids before the end of the auction? Do you do it? If so: why? Don’t you see how that just pushes the price up (and up, and up, and up…) completely needlessly? Doesn’t it make sense that if all interested parties simply wait until the end of the auction and then bid their maximum, the eventual winner gets to walk away with a bargain, and no one gets goaded into paying more than they really intended to, whipped up into a frenzy by the end-of-auction excitement, and suddenly determined to win those damn shoes AT ALL COSTS?
That’s pretty much what happened, folks. I’m not proud of it. But like I said, Dark Forces were at work that night, and even although Little Miss Two-Days-Before-The-End-of-the-Auction pushed the price up to an amount I might previously have baulked at (Note: I wouldn’t really have, though. Because I did really want those shoes…), I allowed those Dark Forces to take over. “I will win these shoes, even if it costs me every last penny!” I muttered feverishly from the corner of the room, where I was rocking back and forth in an agony of anticipation, awaiting the glorious hour when the auction would end I could finally defeat all of my foes.
And I did.
No one steals shoes from under my nose and gets away from it, I’ll tell you that for nothing.
I’m not going to say the shoes were a bargain, because that would be a complete and utter lie, but they did cost much less than the original retail price, and they are brand spanking new (Yes, the Fail managed to deliver them. It took them longer than expected, obviously, but hats off to them for managing to get SOMETHING right this year. Still hate them, though.), so I’m happy.
I’m trying to avoid eBay for the foreseeable, though, or at least to avoid auctions, because they tend to turn me into a madwoman. This is why I normally only look at Buy It Now items: I absolutely hate finding something I love, and then having to wait ten days and do battle with fifteen other people in order to get it.
Amber – 1; Little Miss Two-Days-Before-The-End-of-the-Auction = nil
(Dress, ASOS (obviously); shoes, Christian Louboutin. Worn on a Valentine’s dinner date with Terry. The shoes were the first to be rescued in my Shoe Challenge, hence the numbers at the bottom of the image…)
1. Since you started blogging has your image of yourself changed?
Since I started blogging in general, no. Since I started taking photos for my blogs, yes, I think it has, more so with the photos I take for Hey, Dollface! because as it’s a beauty blog, and the photos are done for the purpose of reviewing products, they’re normally extreme close-ups of my face, and I defy anyone to look at photos which are THAT detailed and not want to recoil a little. Trust me, it can be pretty scary. Even the photos I take for Shoeperwoman have changed my image of myself a little: I think just looking at so many photos every week has made me notice things I probably wouldn’t have otherwise!
2. Are you self-conscious about any aspect of yourself? If so, do you go out of your way to avoid it or do you post it/talk about it anyway?
Oh hell, yes, I’m self-conscious about lots of things. I’m not going to tell you what they are, though, because in answer to the second part of the question, no, I don’t talk about them. When I was younger, I did: I was the kind of person who would always point out her “flaws”, so if I had a giant spot on my forehead, say (which I often did), I’d be all, “Hi, everyone, I’m Amber: get a load of this spot! I bet you’ve never seen one as big as this before!” I kind of felt like if didn’t mention those things, people would obviously notice them anyway, and, I don’t know, it would be like they had one up on me, or something. As if they’d be thinking, “Ha! Amber has a huge spot and she doesn’t even know it!” So I would attempt to remove this “power” from them by making sure I always mentioned it first, whatever it was. Pretty stupid, no?
These days I don’t go out of my way to draw attention to the things I’m self-conscious about, particularly not on the Internet. I just don’t think there’s anything to be gained from it, and I’ve also learned the hard way that people on the Internet don’t need me to point out my flaws to them – they’re more than capable of noticing them all by themselves!
3. Based on how you are feeling now, what do you think the future holds in the evolution of your body image?
Oh, lordy, I have no idea! I think I’m a lot more comfortable about my body image now than I was when I was younger, so I’d like to think I’ll get even more comfortable with age, but who knows: once everything starts heading south, I may be singing a different tune!
4. Do you photograph yourself for your blog? If so, how do you feel about the experience when you’re having your picture taken?
Yes, I started off taking the aforementioned product review photos for Hey, Dollface, and then last year, when I started the Shoeper Shoe Challenge, I started photographing myself for that. I expect this will come as a surprise to most of the people who read my blogs, but I hate having my photo taken: I always feel really stupid and self-conscious, and this isn’t helped by the fact that I’m a “blinker” – seriously, I can take 10 photos, and in 9 of them I’ll be standing there with my eyes shut and my face all screwed up, so when I’m having my photo taken I have to do this crazy kind of “deer in the headlights” thing where I try to open my eyes as wide as possible and stare like a madwoman. It’s not fun. (Although I guess it might be quite fun to watch…)
(Sometimes I close my eyes deliberately. It’s easier that way.)
5. What would you want every person who struggles with body image to take to heart?
That we’re all our own worst critics, and that the things we’re self-conscious about are often things that are really only noticeable to ourselves. I’ve had so many conversations with female friends where they’ve mentioned something they absolutely hate about themselves, and they’re always things I’ve never even noticed about them, and I don’t think anyone else would either. I think that’s probably often the case: we’re all too busy worrying about our own body image to pick apart someone else’s. One of my favourite quotes on this subject is a really famous one from Cindy Crawford, who once told an interviewer, “Even I don’t wake up looking like Cindy Crawford…” I’ve always loved that, because I think it’s so easy to look at other people, and compare yourself unfavourably to them, but the truth is that we’re all struggling with our own set of insecurities, and no one is perfect. Not even Cindy Crawford.
Um, that was Jerry’s final thought for today. Until next time, take care of yourselves – and each other…”
Well, 2011 has come in like a lion, which is a bit weird, really, because that’s supposed to be March’s job. I wonder what March will come in like now that January’s stolen its thunder? (Or its, er, lion, rather.)
First, there was the lurgy. Terry had the flu, I had The Daggers, we both had The Miserable. Then there was some exciting work-related news, which caused us to pop open the champagne, because really, any excuse. Then there was some not-so-great work-related-news, but we didn’t care because we’d had the champagne by then. There was also food. A LOT of food. Oh, so much food! In fact, there was so much food, and so many late nights and things to do/people to see that to be completely honest, I’m actually quite glad that the “festive” season is over and I can start getting back to some sort of normality. I just have a few boxes of chocolate left to eat, and then I can declare Christmas officially over. I might just go and eat them now, actually, get it over with.
Anyway, I have a lot of work I should be doing, so here are some clips Terry filmed of our holiday. It’s mostly sunsets, but they’re pretty, so enjoy…
For the last year or two (or seven), I’ve desperately wanted to move house. The problem with that, though… well, actually, there are LOTS of problems with that, but the main one is that we just can’t afford it right now, so, in a bid to make the best of the house we have, way back in December we made a list of improvements we’d like to make, things that need to be replaced, etc.
And then we ignored all of them*, and went out and bought a bright red chair which we then spent the best part of the evening trying to cram into our tiny living room. Along with the new rug that also wasn’t on the list. Or rather, Terry tried to cram them into the room. I just… supervised.
Here is a quick glimpse of our rock n’ roll lifestyle. Or, as I think if it, “The Sims Come to Life”.
* OK, not quite ALL of them: Terry DID replace the bathroom foor on Friday. Yes, AGAIN. Take it from me, kids, never use white floor tiles in your bathroom. Or, indeed, anywhere else you might actually want to STAND.
First up: thank you all so much for the lovely comments on my last post. Blogging can seem like a bit of a thankless task sometimes (especially when people like the lovely Jellybean decide to get in touch), so the support from everyone who commented on that post was very much appreciated!
With that said, I thought it was time to lighten the mood a little, with a bit of help from Terry, who has put together this short video about our holiday in Gran Canaria. BUT! This video comes with a warning! An important warning!
IMPORTANT WARNING! READ IT!
A large part of the Maspalomas sand dunes, which we visited frequently during our holiday, is a nudist beach. Which means that this video contains nudity. NO! It’s NOT US! Terry and I remained clothed at all times on the beach, you will be pleased to know, but some people… well, some people didn’t. And some of those people may well have been caught on camera. If you’re in any way offended by this, or if you’re viewing at work, or in a public place, then, you may want to give this one a miss. It’s nothing graphic, and Terry has taken steps to preserve people’s modesty, but… you know. Naked people. They’re here. And they’re NOT SAFE FOR WORK.