I‘ve been sitting here with the blank page of this post open in front of me for about 20 minutes now, without having a clue what to write in it, because I think week 18 has been the most uneventful week of this pregnancy so far.

(I’m now REALLY worried that I’ve just cursed it by saying that, obviously. Even although I totally don’t believe in curses, or in tempting fate, or in any of that stuff…)

I was actually hoping it wouldn’t be uneventful, of course. I mean, I was hoping I’d have lots of lovely little baby kicks to report in this week’s pregnancy diary, but nope: absolutely nada. Well, other than that one time during Game of Thrones when I became absolutely convinced I could feel … something. Some kind of… feeling. It wasn’t anything like a butterfly flapping its wings, though, which is what everyone and their uncle has told me to expect, and later that night I had a similar feeling way up in my torso, and if the baby is all the way up there then, well, I’m in trouble, basically.

So, yeah, nothing to report again, and I’m honestly starting to think that I will just never feel this baby move, ever.  Why’d you hate me, baby? Why can’t you just give me a swift kick to the belly or something, just so I know I haven’t imagined you?

Here’s what I do have to report this week…

Five Go ParentingWeek 18 Pregnancy Symptoms:

Zits. Four of ’em. Actually, I don’t know if this is strictly a pregnancy symptom as such, because we all know that sometimes bad skin happens to good people, whether they’re pregnant or not, but I don’t normally get breakouts, so I’m chalking it up to hormones, and just feeling lucky that they cleared up almost as soon as they got here.

(Other things I’m chalking up to hormones: all of the times I’ve started crying just because someone looked at me funny; my continued inability to stay awake past 10pm…)

Oh, and the dreams! Super-vivid dreams were one of my very first pregnancy symptoms, and they’ve stayed with me throughout. Most of them seem to revolve around me breaking into my childhood home (Which I only lived in until I was 5 years old, but dream about constantly…), and then refusing to leave it, but quite a lot of them involve me endlessly re-sizing images for blog posts which… well, which says a lot about how I’ve been spending MY time lately, huh?

Five Go Parenting

Week 18 Pregnancy Aversions:

It’s still you, coffee. And we used to be so close, too…

Week 18 Pregnancy Cravings:

Once again, it’s ALL THE THINGS. I’m just really, really hungry pretty much aaaalll the time right now, and it’s actually freaking me out a bit, because WHEN WILL I STOP EATING? Will I EVER stop eating? And, I mean, I know the whole “eating for two” thing is a myth, but I’m pretty sure I’m eating for at least four (No, there is just one in there. Yes, I’m sure…), which can’t be good, can it?

Week 18 Pregnancy Fears:

Other than the usual “why no movement?” stuff, this week I’ve mostly been worrying about the mid-pregnancy anomaly scan, which is happening next week. I stupidly made the mistake of Googling this, just so I’d know what to expect, and, of course, it was just this huge list of Things That Could Go Wrong. Well, OK, 11 things, and two of them have already been ruled out by the Harmony Test I had in week 10, but even so, folks, that’s still NINE DIFFERENT THINGS that could potentially be wrong with this baby, and that’s just TOO MANY THINGS, as far as I’m concerned.

Still, if all goes well, that scan will be another one of those lines in the sand that, once crossed, should make me feel a whole lot better about things, so as much as I’m dreading it, I’m also looking forward to getting past that particular hurdle – and, of course, to (hopefully) finding out whether we’re having a boy or a girl!

Wish me luck…

[Edited to add: I keep getting comments about “the baby not moving” – just to clarify, the baby IS moving (The midwife commented on it last week, when she was listening to the heartbeat and the baby kept moving away from the doppler!): it’s just that I can’t feel it yet! The midwife also said that’s not uncommon at all for women not to be feeling any movement at this stage, especially with a first baby, so it’s definitely not the case that if I can’t feel it yet, it must not be moving: I’m just worrying about it because I worry about everything!]

[My Pregnancy Diary]

17 Comments
  1. Make the most of little happening during the second trimester, and feeling good (apart from the zits). You are doing what your body is telling you to do – eating and sleeping.

  2. I never felt butterflies. I felt baby move when I was in the shower and it sort of pinged my right side. It will happen eventually and it could be anything.

  3. To me those first movements felt like tiny bubbles popping! And yes I do remember being very hungry and hating the smell of coffee and fried foods. Best wishes to you Amber.

  4. When my mom was pregnant with my brother he was basically a potato. He almost never moved through her entire pregnancy, and it really only happened when she poked at her tummy a lot or put a hot coffee mug on it. He was born totally healthy, but she was worried about him throughout her pregnancy. He continued the trend of barely moving after he was born, so your lack of baby movement could be an indication of a chill baby 🙂

    1. The baby is actually moving (the midwife commented on it when she was listening to the heartbeat and it kept moving!) – it’s just that I can’t feel it yet, which is apparently not unusual at this stage!

  5. I actually remember that my aunt waited a lot to feel my cousin kicking for the first time, I think it was around week 20-21, so it can happen sometimes, it all depends on the baby I suppose! It’s nice to hear that all is going swimmingly, I heard that the 2 trimester is usually much calmer symptoms-wise!

  6. Oh, the crying for nothing. I remember THAT. During my second trimester my partner was away for work for weeks on end, and when a co-worker came to tease me about it I stared bawling to his face… embarrassing? Well…. He sure was…

  7. There’s a lot of variety in peoples’ sensitivity to things happening internally (it’s actually one of the way-more-than-five senses) — that might play a role in the fact that some people can feel movement super early and some people don’t feel it until super late. Still, I can definitely see why being able to feel movement would be a huge source of comfort — I hope it definitively happens soon for you!

    Also, I’ve just now realized that my comments haven’t been going through for weeks (internet issues), so — very, very belatedly — congratulations on the whole baby thing! I’ve never been so invested in a stranger’s pregnancy 😉 but I have to say, I really appreciate the honest way you’ve been writing about your surrounding health anxiety issues (as usual). I may be mildly tokophobic myself, and it’s actually super reassuring to read about an actual person actually dealing with pregnancy fears.

  8. Ha ha! THIS is why I decided against a weekly diary – my posts would all just read “Still pregnant”.

    Neither of mine have felt like butterfly wings – one felt like bubbles popping really low down; the other feels like being stroked from the inside really high up. Fingers crossed you don’t have too much longer to wait. x

  9. I was told it depends on where the placenta is situated. Sometimes it’s more to the front, so between the baby and the stomach wall. If that’s the case the kicks have to be a lot stronger to be felt by the mother. If this is any consolation:)

  10. Aw try not to worry. I don’t think I felt any movement until about week 20, and I think it feels like gas bubbles at first, so very easy to miss. So glad to hear things are going well!

  11. I didn’t feel anything until 20 weeks, almost exactly (right before my 20-week scan). And I wasn’t 100% sure it was really the baby at the time, and only decided it must have been later on, after I’d felt movement that I was absolutely sure was the baby, because then I knew what it felt like and could compare!

  12. Hi when I was pregnant with my son 10 years ago I didn’t feel anything at all until after 20 weeks and was wondering if I ever would! With my daughter a few years later I felt movement about a month earlier

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